


If You Could Be Anywhere

by buckys_bitch



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, BIPOC Characters, F/F, F/M, Falling In Love, First Love, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Marauders Friendship (Harry Potter), More Like Creative Liberties, Slight Canon Divergence, Slight James Potter bashing, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Teenage Drama
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-11
Updated: 2020-10-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:42:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 27,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26401354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buckys_bitch/pseuds/buckys_bitch
Summary: Lily Evans falls in love once for herself and twice for the family she’s always wanted.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Lily Evans Potter/Original Female Character(s), Other Minor Relationships, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	1. One Week

Late 1971

Growing up being ostracized from everyone, especially your own family, is very hard. You’re an ounce more special or talented than them, and you’re a freak, or some sort of abomination. There’s no explanation as to why your sister expresses true disdain for you, and why your parents don’t correct her behavior.

The reason Lily went looking for magic is because Severus had told her it existed. She’d believed in it before, from her Hans Christian Andersen books to the films that Petunia was obsessed with, but it just never seemed to be a tangible idea, let alone there be a possibility she could posses that magic.

When she had found the magic she was looking for, a letter arrived at her house.  _ Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry _ , somewhere in Scotland. Petunia scowled and told their parents that it was ‘ that filthy boy from Spinner, the one who made her like this ’ clogging up their mail, as if Lily hadn’t always been that way, regardless of Severus.

At the tender age of eleven, Lily Evans was ready to be rid of her family. Severus was happy to support her as they packed their things up to head to Diagon Alley for the first time, alone and emboldened.

“Do you think they’ll be different there?” Lily asked, making her twin bed up in the Leaky Cauldron to be nice and neat. Snape flopped himself down on his bed. “They’re all magical, Lily. Why wouldn’t they be kind?” he asked, flipping open one of his spell books.

“I mean about that my parents aren’t magic,” she clarified, rolling her eyes even though Severus couldn’t see her. “You’re worried about nothing. I promise they’ll be kind.” He looked up at her and smiled. “Promise?” she asked. “Promise,” he answered.

Nobody seemed to care, or at least notice, that two eleven year olds were shopping for magical cauldrons and familiars by themselves. Lily was hardly given a second glance as she exchanged a singular galleon for the most ugly, decrepit Devon Rex. It was handed to her with disgust. Its claws dug into the soft skin of her arm and she smiled brightly.

“It smells of piss,” Severus complained, happy to leave the loud pet store. “He’s just in need of a bath, that’s all,” she said cheerily. The cat looked petrified and still clung to her for dear life. “Nobody was going to want him, but I want him,” she said, kissing his head.

Severus was struck by her charming kindness to such a trivial thing like this empty-headed cat. The boys he knew back home kicked cats like this for fun, and the girls watched. This girl had gone out of her way to choose him, to love him, to care for him.

“We have to get back to the hotel before going anywhere else so I can drop him off,” Lily said, coddling the stinking thing to her pretty floral blouse. “It’s an inn, not a hotel,” Snape chastised. “Besides, what’s his name?” he asked, trying to be fond of it. “Elias,” she decided, rubbing behind his ears.

Severus tried not to laugh as they pried to cat off of Lily’s chest and onto the bed. His expression stayed a permanent fear, and it made them laugh. The poor thing held onto the bed for dear life as they slipped out to grab some dinner.

The two kids made their way to King Cross on the complete other side of London only an hour before their train was supposed to leave. They hurried to 9 3/4, careful not let anyone see what they were doing.

The other side of the barrier was full of families, all of which had a trunk and some sort of animal on a cart. Severus and Lily looked around in wonder, trying to find where they were supposed to head.

“Are you lost?” a woman’s voice asked them. In front of them stood a well-polished, elegant looking woman in red, her hair tied up and tucked underneath a faux fur cap. Next to her stood the gaudiest, squant old man Lily had seen in her life, making her want to laugh. On her other side was a boy about Lily and Severus’ age with rambunctious hair opposite neatly pressed robes.

“Yes ma’am, we are,” Lily said, not waiting for Severus’ sensical input. “My son James here is a first year and you two look about his age. Why don’t you three all hop on the train together?” the woman asked. “Mum,” the boy whined, tugging at his tight collared shirt.

“Leave the boy alone, Euphemia,” the man said. “I’m just trying to help the kids, Fleamont,” the woman complained, obviously annoyed that he had undermined her more than once. Lily and Severus just stared at her.

“Come on dears, let’s get you on board, shall we?” Euphemia asked, gesturing to Fleamont for him to take all three of the children’s carts. He groveled but helped his wife take the kids to their compartment.

“You three go get settled and comfortable, your father and I will be right here waiting for you before you leave, James,” Euphemia said, scruffing her son’s hair. “Please don’t,” he said, then turned abruptly to find a seat. Severus followed suit, but Lily turned around to wave at the matronly woman who helped them board their train for the first time.

Lily, Severus, and James all took a seat in an empty compartment on the far side of the train. Lily knew James wanted an excuse to not wave to his mother. 

“Your mother’s nice,” she said. James nodded. “She’s alright. She’s a bit much of you ask me,” he said, looking around the room. Lily could tell Severus didn’t like James, but she tried to keep it civil.

“Are your parents magic?” Lily asked. “I don’t really want to talk to you, my mum made me. Can I go find some friends now?” James asked impatiently. “If it was rude of me to ask about your family I wouldn’t have-.”

James had thrown the door open, stepped out, and slammed it back. Lily stood looking where James had stood only moments before, completely astounded with his behavior. “Sit, sit,” Severus said, gently tugging on Lily’s arm. 

“If it was rude, I wouldn’t have asked,” Lily said, resigned. Severus looked on her with pity. “From what he said, it’s not you that’s the problem,” he said. “But his mother looked so kind and elegant, a proper Londoner,” Lily protested, standing up in a rage.

“Doesn’t mean he’s been told he’s wrong. His father was a little piggy,” Severus said. Lily rounded on him. Severus pulled his nose up and snorted like a pig, making her laugh. “He was round, wasn’t he?” Lily asked.

Nobody entered their compartment for the whole ride up to Hogwarts. When they arrived, a gruff man the size of a young tree called for the first years to follow him.

The castle that was laid before Lily was beyond her most beautiful dreams. It was dark outside and the stones were a dull grey; it definitely wouldn’t have picked up as wonderfully on a camera. The windows were a bright yellow, revealing the beautiful features along the outside walls. A large turret jutted out from one side awkwardly, a few lower-level classrooms with stools on their desks were illuminated by a soft yellow light from a distant source, and some other things caught her eye that Lily couldn’t even think to put a name to.

She was so distracted that she had run into someone in front of her. “Oh my God,” Lily said, helping the poor girl up. “Merlin, do you have working eyes?” the girl asked harshly. “I’m so, so sorry,” Lily winced, adjusting her own robes. 

The girl was obviously the same age as Lily, as they were all in line to board the ships with the tree-man. She had shoulder-length curly brown hair, a round face, and a mischievous glint in her eye. She reminded Lily of her one friend that she had early in primary school who was quickly weirded out by Lily’s abilities and ended the friendship very quickly.

“Hello? Are you just going to stare?” the girl said, waving her hand in Lily’s face. It startled her from her reverie. “I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you,” Lily said. The girl just smiled at her. “I’m Frances, Frances Haguthorn,” she said, extending her hand for Lily to shake.

Lily shook her hand and smiled back. “Lily, Lily Evans,” she replied. “Lily Evans. I’ll remember that. I hope we’re sorted in the same house,” Frances said. “House?” Lily asked. Frances laughed. “You’re a muggle born?” she asked.

“Yeah,” Lily said shyly. Severus popped up behind her. “Who’s this?” he asked. “Frances, meet Severus. Severus, Frances,” Lily introduced. “Pleasure,” Severus said curtly. He turned to Lily.

“You know the Blacks?” he asked. “I’ve heard about them from when we went Diagon, yeah. What about them?” Lily asked. “Hold on, you don’t know the Blacks? Like, the noble house of Black?” Frances asked.

“Are your parents magic?” Lily asked. “The heir, Sirius... he’s here. And he’s with James,” Severus said, completely disregarding Lily’s question. “James Potter?” Frances asked. “Yes!” Severus exclaimed, completely turning to her. Lily frowned.

“Is anyone going to explain to me what’s going on?” she asked. Severus and Frances turned to her, completely baffled. “We have to tell her all of it,” Severus said. “Where do we begin?” Frances asked.

The two of them spent the whole boat ride over explaining the Black family tree to Lily.

The three of them felt like old friends, and that was something both Lily and Severus needed desperately.

“That’s why the Black heir being in our class is such a big deal,” Frances concluded, almost as if she was stating the obvious. “I still don’t get it. He’s just a boy, he’s like us. Why does his family have to loom over his shoulder?” Lily asked. “When your family name is revered for hundreds of years and suddenly now it’s your turn to be one of many, it gets to you,” Severus said.

“He’s going to be a Slytherin, that’s a fact,” Frances said. “A what?” Lily asked. “It’s the green and silver house. Only the most cunning and sly go there,” Frances clarified. “And the others?” Lily asked. Frances laughed.

“There’s Hufflepuff, the loyal and kind. They’re yellow and black, the badgers. Then there’s Ravenclaw, who’re the intelligent and resourceful. They’re the ravens. And Gryffindors, they’re the brave and boisterous. They’re lions,” she said. Lily nodded. Severus checked his nails.

“My mother says I’m going to be a Slytherin just like she was,” he said. “Is that so?” Frances asked. “Who’s your mother?” Snape chuckled. “Prince. Eileen Prince,” he said. Frances didn’t seem amused.

“I know exactly who she is,” Frances said. Snape deflated horribly. “Maybe Lily was right. Maybe our families shouldn’t dictate who we are. I don’t like the Princes, but I do seem to like you,” Frances smiled. “Maybe because my surname isn’t Prince,” Severus said.

“How do you know Severus’ mother?” Lily asked. “The Prince family is notorious for its support of the dark arts,” Frances answered, eyeing Snape carefully. “Severus is anything but dark,” Lily smiled.

“We’ll see,” Frances said, turning her attention to Lily. “What do you think you’ll be?” she asked. “I honestly don’t know. Hufflepuff sounds the best,” Lily shrugged. “My family’s always been Ravenclaw,” Frances said.

“Well, we’ll find out soon enough,” Severus said, nodding to the large doors to the castle opening to allow them in. Lily hadn’t even realized they’d gotten that close to it, and it was even bigger than she’d thought.

“Frances!” a small group of girls called from closer to the doors. “I have to go, but I hope I get to see you soon, Lily,” Frances said, then ran off to the girls. Lily watched mournfully, silently hoping everyone else would be just as kind as her. Frances turned around right before reaching her friends and gave Lily a wide grin.

“I can’t believe we talked to a complete stranger the entire time,” Severus said. “She’s not a stranger anymore,” Lily reminded him. He rolled his eyes. “Let’s just follow everyone into the corridor,” he said, a bit resigned. 

The corridor was filled to the brim with two-hundred eleven year olds and was completely silent, sans the clicking of heels.

“Evening, children. My name is Professor Minerva McGonagall. I’m head of Gryffindor house. I’m sure you all know you’re about to be sorted into your own houses, if you’d listened to anything Hagrid had said on your way over.” The woman glanced across the room and somehow landed on Lily, her eyes cold but not unforgiving.

“You’ll be called alphabetically by last name to sit on the stool and be sorted,” McGonagall said, and unrolled a piece of parchment that seemed to go on forever. A loud man’s voice carried from the other side of the large closed wooden doors behind the stern woman.

“ ... _when you see this, ye will think of all you’ve missed_... ”.

“Why is there a man singing?” Lily whispered to Severus. “It’s not a man,” Severus replied simply. Lily was more confused than before.

The singing stopped a minute or two later. Lily was grateful for it, until the doors behind McGonagall opened to reveal a bright room chock full of other kids, all of which were older than her. She felt small and watched, something she hated intensely.

“First up, we have Abbott, Marcus,” McGonagall called. Many boys whooped and hollered as Marcus made his way to the stool and picked up the hat, smiling to himself. It seemed like he spoke in whispers to himself, and then the hat yelled, “Hufflepuff!,” and the yellow table erupted in cheers.

Lily took to biting her pinky nail. “You’ll make a bad habit of that if you don’t stop now,” Severus chided. Lily shrugged. “Healthier than most,” she said. Severus rolled his eyes.

“Black, Sirius.” The room went quiet again. The young boy made his way across the room without a single cheer as he sat down to accept his sorting. Severus eyed Lily, who glanced from him to the back of Frances’ head, to the back of Black’s head.

“Gryffindor,” the hat shouted. Everyone gasped for more air. The Gryffindor table welcomed Sirius into their ranks hesitantly. The green table looked angry, and McGonagall didn’t look too pleased herself.

A few names later, Lily heard her name be called. Severus gently nudged her up to the stool, and she slowly made her way to the hat. She looked behind her to see Frances sending her a thumbs up. 

“Hmm, let’s see,” the hat said. Lily jumped in surprise. “What? Surprised a hat can talk?” it demanded. “I’ve never met a talking... thing... before,” Lily explained. “I’m sorry if I was rude.”

“You’d better be,” the hat said. “So how does this work?” Lily asked, choosing to ignore the hat’s miff completely. “I look into your deepest thoughts, and then I decide where you’ll be living for the next seven years of your life,” the hat said simply, as if it could ever be simple.

“Okay,” Lily said, nodding unsurely. “Have you looked yet?” she asked. “If you stop talking, I will,” it snapped, and she quieted. 

After a few seconds, the hat hummed. “I think you’d do good in Slytherin, but that just doesn’t seem right for you this year,” it said. “What do you mean?” she asked. “You’re cunning. Sly. You know how and when to keep from Petunia,” it said. She slumped down. 

“Don’t worry, nobody here needs to know about her if you don’t want them to. Besides that, I don’t think it’s worth risking any politics for you to get into just yet. Your best option is Gryffindor,” it suggested. “I get to choose?” Lily said. “You get an input,” it corrected.

“So if I say Slytherin, you’ll have to make your own decision, but if I say Gryffindor then I’m there?” she asked. “You’re there,” it confirmed. “I’d like a say in the matter,” Lily said, and the hat knew what she meant.

“Gryffindor!” it exclaimed, and the Gryffindor table cheered for her, much louder than it had for Sirius. Lily looked back at Severus sadly, knowing deep inside her that she could’ve been in the same house as him if only she had fought harder. She then glanced at Frances who was cheering with her new housemates. It made Lily smile. 

“Welcome to Gryffindor,” an older girl smiled, showing Lily to her seat as the next person was called up. “I’m your prefect, Lynette Scot. What’s your name?” she asked. “Lily Evans,” Lily replied. “Nice to meet you, Lily. I’m going to seat you right here next to Felicity Carmut. Feel free to chat amongst yourselves!” And with that, Lynette was gone.

“Hello,” Felicity said quietly. “Hello,” Lily replied. “I’m sure you heard my name,” Felicity said awkwardly. “I did. And you heard mine?” Lily asked, just as awkward. Felicity nodded. “Can you two shut up? I’m trying to listen for someone,” a freckled boy in front of them snapped.

“Oi, what’s got your knickers in a twist, Haguthorn?” the Black girl next to him demanded. “None of your business, Thistle,” the boy said. “Somebody’s hungwy,” she said, making fun of him as she rubbed her stomach. Lily stifled a laugh.

“See, she thinks it’s funny,” the girl said, gesturing to Lily. “I’m trying to hear my sister’s house, okay? That’s all,” he said. “Shut up, Joe, she’s being sorted now,” the boy on his opposite side said. 

Lily looked over to see Frances sitting on the stool. It clicked in her mind that the Joe before her had to be Frances’ older brother, despite the fact that she had said her entire family was in Ravenclaw. It took a few seconds for the hat to decide, but ultimately, Frances was a Ravenclaw. Lily also realized then that no matter how long the conversation between her and the hat had felt like, it couldn’t have been more than 20 seconds.

Lily turned back to Joe. He looked defeated. The girl next to him had softened, and the boy next to him was whispering to someone down the bench from him.

“I’m really sorry, Joseph,” she said. “Don’t ever tease me about my family again, Thistle Maybren,” he threatened. He turned himself to the front of the room to hide his face from her. She looked down at her empty plate on the table.

“Why’s there already so much drama?” Felicity whispered to Lily. “You don’t even know the half of it. I’ll tell you later,” Lily said. 

Lily made small talk with Felicity while watching Thistle and Joseph’s faces until she heard another familiar name, something she wasn’t expecting until Severus. “Potter, James.”

Cheers came from both the first years and some older Gryffindors. The boy sat down on the stool in front of the room with a smug look on his face. “What’s his deal?” Thistle asked aloud. She glanced at the other first years who glanced back at her. Felicity shrugged. “Total ass,” Lily said. Thistle nodded.

“Gryffindor!” the hat announced, and a few people stood up to clap and wolf whistle and James joined them. Lynette sat him down next to Lily with an extremely cheerful disposition.

“Hello,” James said. “We’ve met,” Lily deadpanned. “Oh, yeah, you’re the girl from the train,” James said. Lily nodded. “Sorry for leaving you like that, the guy you were with scared me a little,” James smiled. Lily just scoffed and turned her attention back to the name calling.

Finally, Severus’ name came around. Lily held her breath waiting for him to be sorted. The hat barely had to touch his head before bellowing, “Slytherin!” Lily let herself breathe as she started to accept what she could only presume to be the first wedge between her and Severus.

“Don’t worry, people from all houses talk,” Thistle said, and Lily didn’t miss her eyeing the back of Joseph’s head. “Not like you’d want to talk to him anyways,” James scoffed.

“I’ve spoken to you all of three times and yet, I am still utterly repulsed by your lack of manners,” Lily said. Felicity chuckled. “I’ll have you know that my family has enough prestige to run your entire family across the ocean,” James responded. Lily crossed her arms, completely unintimidated. 

“You truly don’t think that your measly family name will amount to anything? With an heir like you, the Potter name will die out, thankfully. Your name means nothing to someone who has no idea who you are,” Lily reminded him. “Besides, I have a sister, I know how to fight dirty.”

James’ cheeks would’ve been flushed if it weren’t for his skin tone. As she stared at him, she could hear her mother’s voice in her ear. ‘ _ He’s just a Paki, Lily. Not worth your time _ .’  _ He’s not Pakistani to begin with, he’s Indian _ , Lily hissed to her imaginary mother.

“We’re not on even playing fields, even if you think we are. You may not know my name, but everyone else does. I instantly have one hundred friends, and you’ve just got one, and he looks like a vampire,” James said.

“She’s got more than one friend,” Felicity said, leaning over the table. “And you better watch your mouth or our prefect will know everything you’re saying.” James huffed but turned around, going to talk to the boy next to him. “Maybe you should be a little kinder,” he shrugged. “Lupin,” James gasped in annoyance.

“Thanks for saying you’re my friend,” Lily said. “It’s no problem, that’s what friends are for,” Felicity said, her face lighting up. “I’ve never really had any friends before. Well, besides Severus. I’m glad you’re the first person I’ve met here,” Lily beamed.

A frail man with a long, silver beard stood up behind a lectern in the front of the room. The chatter quickly flattened to silence.

“Welcome, everyone. I’m your headmaster, Albus Dumbledore.” A few whispers went through the crowd, but ultimately stopped once the man looked around expectantly. “He’s not much of a looker,” Felicity said, and it made Lily chuckle.

Dumbledore continued on with his speech. Lily took in the ginormous room while he droned on; the high vaulted ceilings looked like the outside sky— Lily could make out the constellations Cancer and Orion; candles floated midair on their own, something she hadn’t noticed the whole time; and there was a gruff looking set of teachers on either side of the large empty chair behind the headmaster.

“One last thing before I let you begin your feast... do not let yourself fall privy to the error of hatred. You are all deserving of being yourself.” Dumbledore paused and looked around, his eyes landing on some of the older Slytherins. “Enjoy,” he said, and food appeared on the platters before them. 

“Woah! Does this always happen?” Lily asked Felicity. “That’s what my mum said,” the other girl shrugged. “She says the house elves make the food and it appears here.” Lily grinned as she helped herself to baked chicken and mashed potatoes.

“So, girls, how’s your first hour at Hogwarts going?” Thistle asked, helping herself to sausages. “It’s been a little intimidating,” Lily laughed. Felicity nodded. “I promise it’s not as bad as it seems. Surround yourself with the right people and you’ll have a great time,” Thistle said. Lily didn’t miss her eyeing up Joseph.

“I met your sister on the way up to the castle,” Lily blurted. Joseph turned to her and glared. “You did?” he asked. “I sort of bumped into her, really, but yeah. She’s nice. She didn’t mention you, though,” Lily rambled.

“Of course she didn’t,” he scoffed. “But she mentioned Philomena?” Lily frowned. “No? Who’s she?” she asked. “Our sister,” Joseph said. “At least you know it’s not just because of your house,” Thistle smiled, nudging him. He didn’t look impressed. “Not now,” he groaned.

“I don’t think she cares you’re a Gryffindor,” Lily said. “You don’t know her,” Joseph retorted. “I’ll get to know her, then. She can’t not love her family just because they’re in a different house,” Lily demanded.

“Easy for you to say. Do you have any siblings?”

“Yes.”

“What house?”

“She’s not magic.” It was Lily’s turn to look unimpressed. Joseph blushed. “You can’t complain much,” Thistle said. “You’re muggleborn?” Felicity asked.

“Muggleborn?” Lily asked. “It means that you’re the only witch in your family,” Thistle explained. “Oh, yeah,” Lily nodded. “Are you?”

“I’m a half-blood,” Felicity said. “My mum is a witch, my father is a muggle.” 

“My family is pureblood,” Joseph explained. “Yeah, not only are they pureblood, they’re high status,” Thistle added. Joseph nudged her shoulder gently.

“I’m a half-blood, like Felicity. My father’s a wizard, mum’s a squib,” Thistle said. “Squib?” Lily asked. “She’s the only one of a magical family to not have magical abilities,” Thistle explained.

Lily nodded, trying to absorb all of this new information.

“Do me a favor, will you? I’m taking to you and your friend here, so don’t go telling just anyone you’re a muggleborn. Not everyone is welcoming,” Joseph said. “Why would you tell them that?” Thistle demanded. “I’m telling the truth!” Joseph exclaimed.

“Wait, who isn’t welcoming?” Felicity asked. “I think you’ll be okay, but... there are some nasty snakes who would rather have the world look just like them,” Joseph replied. “So you’re saying the Slytherins?” Felicity asked.

“Wait, my friend is in that house!” Lily protested. “Just try not to let him go bad, then. There’s a lot of evil down in the dungeons,” Joseph shrugged. “Stop saying that,” Thistle protested.

That was the end of that conversation. Lily wondered what Joseph meant by ‘evil’, because human sin is always objective. She also thought about if Hogwarts was going to be as good as she hoped now that she knew some people already didn’t like her for who she really was.

When dinner was over, the food disappeared. All of the older kids stood up with their prefects and head of house, followed by the scrambling first years.

Everyone began to walk towards the exit in one large mass. “This is it!” Felicity whisper-yelled. “We’re going to see our dorms!” Lily laughed at her excitement. “I’m going to get lost just going to the restroom,” she said, looking up at the mazes of stairs above her. 

“Don’t worry, it’s not that bad once you get to know their schedule,” Thistle said. Lily watched as some stairs moved on their own, almost throwing some Hufflepuffs off the side. “It’s what, nine? The east staircases will start moving any minute,” the older girl said, pointing to groups of stairs to their right.

Sure enough, those five staircases began to shift in different directions. “All you have to do is memorize the pattern,” Thistle shrugged. “Tell me why you’re not in Ravenclaw again?” Felicity asked. Thistle laughed. Joseph didn’t look pleased.

When they made it to the top of the farthest western staircase, Lynette stopped them in front of a large portrait of a Grecian woman. “Portamus vinum,” Lynette said proudly. “Practicing your Latin?” the woman asked, then swung open to let the Gryffindors in.

“That’s the Fat Lady. Remember that password or you’ll be in big trouble,” Thistle said. “That’s horrible that you call her ‘Fat Lady’,” Felicity said. “I mean... she’s fat, isn’t she?” Joseph asked. He plopped himself down on a couch.

Lily looked around the room while Felicity and Joseph bickered over the naming of a painting. “Beautiful, isn’t it?” Thistle asked. “It’s not a sight for sore eyes, but it’s homely,” Lily answered honestly. “It’ll grow on you,” Thistle said, patting Lily’s shoulder before sitting next to Joseph.

“I forgot you were in this house,” James groaned. He already had accrued two other boys to be his goons. “I wish I could forget you,” Lily replied. “Why are you two already fighting?” the boy on James’ left asked.

“Because, Remus,” James spat, “ginger over here doesn’t know what being a Potter means. She was rude and inconsiderate. Plus, she’s friends with a Slytherin. Three-for-one.”

The boy on James’ right cocked his hip. “I don’t know, James. It’s too early to be picking on people,” he said. “There’s no pecking order to uphold here,” the one called Remus added.

“Give me a month and then tease me. But it’s much too soon for you to already hate me,” Lily said. James groaned. “Fine. But only because these two convinced me. Lily, this is Sirius, and this is Remus,” James said, gesturing to the two of them.

Lily waved to them both. “Nice to meet you, boys. If you’ll excuse me, I have a friend to get back to and a room to discover. I hope to talk to you soon,” she said, then made her way back to Felicity.

“It’s her name, Felicity,” Joseph exclaimed, his voice on the constant edge of exasperation. Felicity just crossed her arms and huffed, physically turning away from Joseph. Thistle laughed at them. 

“Are we heading up to our rooms any time soon?” Lily asked. “It’s up to Lynette,” Felicity answered. “Were you two fighting?” Lily asked, pointing to Joseph. Felicity glanced back to give him a dirty look, then stared right back at Lily. “No,” she said indignantly, then walked away a few feet. Lily glanced at Thistle who shrugged, making the two of them laugh.

“Okay! Attention, everyone,” Lynette called from the corner of the room next to the girls’ dormitory staircase. The first years watched her intently while the older Gryffindors looked bored. “All my firsties, this is your time! I’d kindly ask that you line up behind the appropriate staircase to take you to your dorm! I’m next to the girls’ and Geronimo over there is next to the boys’!”

Lynette pointed to a short, scrawny boy who waved to the room. “He’s smelly,” Joseph mumbled. Lily had to hold in her laughter. Felicity grabbed a tight hold on Lily’s hand excitedly. She dragged the poor girl all the way over to Lynette’s feet.

Lily looked for Thistle amongst the crowd. She didn’t stand out like a sore thumb, but she wasn’t hard to spot. She was with the ginormous giant Joseph, and as soon as Lily found him she saw Thistle— only a few inches taller than Lily herself and a complete elf next to her friend. Thistle waved at Lily as all of the first year girls rushed up the stairs to their dorm.

“Here it is! Your dormitory!” Lynette said. Most of the girls squealed as they rushed to find their stuff. Lily and Felicity’s was in the adjoining room. 

“I’m so worn out from all of the drama that’s already happened on this first day that I don’t know if I can keep my eyes open another blink,” Felicity said, throwing her chest open to rummage for her pajamas. “I’m still so nervous about classes tomorrow,” Lily said while mirroring Felicity’s actions.

A few other girls trickled into the room, taking amongst each other as they sat on their beds. “Don’t worry too much. We have the same schedule after all. You’ll always have a friend with you,” Felicity smiled. Lily smiled back. “Thank you,” she said, blushing.

After the two of them had changed into pajamas, they laid down and pulled the curtains on their beds. Lily hadn’t thought much of the rooms because of how tired she didn’t realize she was, but as she laid in her bed, she could feel how soft the sheets were and how comfortable the mattress was.

“Psst, Lily,” Felicity whispered. Lily could feel Elias curl up at her feet and she smiled to herself, remembering she got to call him all hers. “Hm?” she asked, barely able to make a sound. “Goodnight, sweet dreams,” Felicity said. “Sweet dreams,” Lily mumbled back and almost instantly fell asleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi!!! i just wanted to put feelers out to see if anyone would be interested in this story !! if you like it, please leave kudos and comments, it’s really appreciated!!! thank you <3


	2. Ophelia

Early 1972

After a few months of being at Hogwarts, Lily finally started to relax. She’d had the option to stay over Christmas break, and she chose that over having to go back home to face Petunia prematurely. She’d had the whole room to herself, as Felicity and the other three girls had gone home, but it was nice having the spacious area to be alone in. She’d had Thistle come and spend the night in Felicity’s bed one night, just to keep her company.

Everyone who had gone home for the holidays had returned the day before term started. Lily had only noticed when Thistle and her were in the common room playing exploding snap (Lily was losing horribly) and Joseph had plopped himself in the chair between them.

“Hey!” Thistle exclaimed, smiling at him. He looked extremely upset. “Hi,” he grit out. “Something the matter?” Lily asked, thankful Thistle had abandoned their game.

“Frances is a Ravenclaw,” Joseph sighed. “Not this again,” Thistle groaned. “What? What’s the matter?” Lily asked. “He thinks he’s not good enough for his family because he’s the first who hasn’t been a Ravenclaw in a century, even though I’ve told him that his family does love him and even if they didn’t, Gryffindor could be his home,” Thistle explained.

“They don’t love me. This Christmas has proved it,” Joseph said. “What happened?” Lily asked. “They gave Philomena more presents because she’s head girl, and they gave Frances more because she’s a Ravenclaw,” Joseph said.

“What did you get?” Thistle asked. “A new sweater,” he grumbled, throwing himself back in his chair. “It’s a nice sweater,” Lily said gently. “Thank you. Still, I’d rather be told that my family hates me then have to guess that they do,” Joseph said. He deflated.

“Cheer up,” Thistle said simply. She patted his knee gently. “Watch me beat Lily at Snap, she’s horrible.” Lily went red. “I’m not that bad,” she said.

That night, Lily met with Felicity at dinner.

“Lily!” Felicity exclaimed, wrapping her arms around Lily happily. “I’ve missed you so,” Lily said, laughing happily. Thistle was behind her, and Felicity hugged her too. Felicity simply waved to Joseph. They all sat down at the table, not unlike their first day. 

“How’s your winter break been?” Lily asked. “Oh, wonderful!” Felicity said. She explained all about how her family had traveled to Italy to see her father’s parents, which ended up in her meeting a cute boy who was just as magical as she was. They’d had a short but sweet relationship in which they’d never talked and Felicity just pined, and they had to go their separate ways.

“All you cared about was a boy?” Lily laughed. “Not just any boy, a cute boy. Back me up, Thistle!” Felicity said, exasperated. Thistle nodded in reluctant agreement. Joseph was pink in embarrassment. Lily laughed at him.

They chatted over breakfast the next morning. Lily was elated that she had finally found her people and that she was home.

“Frances,” Joseph said, staring behind Lily’s head. Lily turned around and Frances was there staring back at her. “Hello,” she said, mostly to Lily. “May I sit?”

Lily scooted over into Felicity’s space to let Frances sit down. Joseph didn’t look happy.

“I just wanted to check in with you,” Frances said, looking to her brother. Thistle looked at her thoroughly as if it were the first and last time she’d ever get a good glance. “I’m fine,” Joseph said curtly.

“Good. Now, Philly is driving me crazy with her boy drama so I had to come sit with my favorite to get a breather,” Frances said, serving herself some bread pudding. Everyone stared at her as if she had three heads. Lily felt herself start to smile and lean into Felicity.

“How was your Christmas, Frances?” Thistle asked. “Please, I can’t stand Frances. Call me Franny,” Frances said, licking the pudding off her finger. “Okay then, Franny, how was your break?” 

Joseph looked horrified that Thistle was engaging in conversation with his sister. “It was alright, thanks for asking. Our gran visited, but she smells like mothballs. Does your gran smell like mothballs?” Frances asked Lily casually.

“Dunno, both of my grandmothers died before I was born,” Lily answered plainly. “Shame. Now you can’t miss the smell of mothballs,” Frances said. Felicity stared at Lily as if to say  _she’s crazy, why is nobody saying she’s crazy?_

“When are you going back to your own table, Frances?” Joseph asked. “I’m sorry, Father, I didn’t know I had to sit with the other children,” Frances replied. Lily could tell that their father was a sore subject.

Joseph stood up and stormed out of the Great Hall. Thistle stood up and chased after him.

Frances slid her plate across the table where her brother was and climbed under the table to sit in front of it.

“Now that he’s gone,” Frances sighed. “You chased him away!” Felicity said. Lily winced. “He left of his own accord,” Frances shrugged. Felicity glared at Lily again.

“Have you had a normal conversation with Joseph ever?” Lily asked. “He’s my brother, of course not,” Frances said, waving her hand around. “But have you tried to consider what it’s like for him being different than you and your sister?” Lily pressed.

“Oh, this again. Joe knows Mother and Father don’t think he’s worse than Philly or I,” Frances said, rolling her eyes. “But have you thought about how he could feel like an outsider? He’s never even seen your common room,” Felicity explained.

“I’ve never had time to think about it. Joe is fine, he’s just a drama queen, I promise,” Frances said, scraping her plate down. She finished her pudding and stood up. “But now I know why I usually don’t make friends with Gryffindors. Too caught up in justice.” She promptly returned to the Ravenclaw table.

“I feel so horrible for Joseph!” Felicity said. “I do too. My family is the same way,” Lily said. “But you’re still going to be friends with Frances?” Felicity asked. She already knew the answer.

“She’s just being immature. I can show her that what she does is the reason I don’t talk to my family,” Lily said. Felicity sighed and shook her head. “Let’s just go make sure Joseph’s okay.”

“He’s not happy,” Thistle said, crossing her arms. “He’s grandiose about it, but his family really is sensitive to him.” Felicity eyed Lily. “And he’s hiding in his bed?” Lily demanded. Thistle nodded.

Lily headed towards the boys’ staircase. “What are you doing?” Thistle demanded. “I’m going to talk to him. This is ridiculous,” Lily said, stomping up each step.

“Joseph Haguthorn,” Lily demanded. Some first year pointed to the spiral staircase at the center of the room. Lily stomped up some more until she reached the fourth floor. “Joseph,” she said. A mound of blankets shifted on one of the beds.

“What if I was naked?” he complained. Lily crossed to sit next to him on the bed. “But you’re not. You’re upset,” she said softly. He frowned. “So?” he asked. 

“My sister told me once that I was never welcome in our house,” Lily admitted. Joseph turned to lol at her with wide eyes. “It’s normal?” he asked. Lily took his hand in hers. “No, it’s not,” she said. “But it is normal to find a place you’re welcome and stay there.”

“And that’s where?” Joseph asked. “Here. With us. Thistle is your best friend, is she not?” Lily asked. Joseph went red as he nodded. “Alright, then. I know Felicity and I are first years, but we’re your friends, too,” Lily said.

Lily could tell Joseph wasn’t really absorbing everything she was saying. “You know what always cheers me up after my sister’s ruined my day?” Lily asked. “What?” Joseph replied.

“A long walk.” Joseph stared at her. “Yeah!” she smiled. “You’re joking. Are you mad? It’s  _freezing_ out!” he exclaimed. Lily grabbed his hand and all but dragged him out of his bed. “C’mon, it’ll be fun,” Lily giggled, rushing down the spiral staircase.

“How did you get him to stop sulking?” Thistle asked, uncrossing her arms. “Grab your scarves and jackets, we’re going for a walk!” Lily exclaimed, striding through the room as she swung her and Joseph’s hands. They exited the common room together.

The lake had frozen over a week prior. It had snowed earlier in the day, dusting the dirty grey ice mush with new white powder. The four of them stood arm to arm as they walked to keep warm. 

Lily still hadn’t let go of Joseph’s hand. Her other hand was now wrapped around his arm. Thistle eyed them as they made their way around the grounds.

“How do we go from this to classes nonstop until we have to go home?” Felicity asked, adjusting her scarf. “Thistle and I get Hogsmeade weekends,” Joseph smiled. Felicity groaned. “I’m jealous.”

“We’ll bring you back something from Zonko’s, I promise,” Thistle laughed, nudging Felicity’s shoulder.

“I think we’ll manage just fine, Felicity. These two won’t bother us that much,” Lily said. “Bother you? Correct me if I’m wrong, but you’re the one who dragged us out here?” Joseph asked with a smile. The girls laughed.

The four of them made their way back to the castle. Joseph and Lily stayed quite warm, but Thistle was shivering and Felicity’s nose had turned a dusty pink. They grabbed lunch in the Great Hall, then headed back to their rooms to start preparing for their classes the next day.

The second Monday in January, Lily Evans started her second term at Hogwarts in potions. Luckily for her, it was a double hour, Gryffindor with Slytherin, and she got to partner up with Severus.

“How was your break?” Lily asked Severus. “It was fine. I stayed here,” he answered simply, finely chopping dittany for their Wiggenwald. “You were here? I was here. Why didn’t you try to find me?” Lily asked. Severus shrugged.

“I haven’t talked to you since the first day. You could’ve owled me,” Severus said plainly. “I’m sorry, I should’ve made time to try and talk to you. It’s all been a bit hectic,” Lily said, pushing a piece of hair behind her ear. “It’s fine, I understand,” Severus said, returning his main focus to the potion.

Lily helped add the ingredients as Severus kept track of their steps and how much or long or when to stir. Sirius and James watched them, trying to imitate whatever they were doing instead of reading the directions. They failed multiple times.

“I’d watch your own sludge if I were you,” Lily giggled as Sirius groaned, yanking his expensive-looking copper rod from James’ cauldron, trying to wipe purple goop off on the side. “You could just help us,” James said, frowning. “What would you learn then?” Lily asked.

Slughorn ended up praising Severus and Lily’s potion in front of the whole class. He bottled extra of their potion to keep in his stores.

After class, Lily hoped to catch Severus’ attention, but he was already long gone.

“Miss your boyfriend, do you?” Sirius asked. “He’s not my boyfriend,” Lily said, rolling her eyes. “Is that right? You’re on the market?” Sirius pressed. James laughed.

Lily took off walking to History of Magic. The boys followed her. “I’m not some pig for you to buy at a fair, Black. Give some other girl your attention, but I don’t need it,” she snapped. “Maybe I will,” Sirius snapped, turning to walk off. James followed.

“What was that about?” Frances asked. “Nothing, they’re just being jerks,” Lily said, watching them go. “How have you already spoken to Black and Potter and you like neither of them?” Frances asked. “Simple; they’re rude,” Lily shrugged. “What are you doing here?”

“Binns teaches nonstop,” Frances said. “I’ve just come out of his Ravenclaw session.” Lily nodded. “Is it enjoyable?” she asked. Frances snorted. “Hardly. It’s the most boring subject. I can’t wait until I get to charms, that’s my favorite,” she said.

Binns opened his class door to welcome the Gryffindors in. “I’ll see you later, maybe,” Lily said, walking into History of Magic. She turned around before she had walked into the room completely to see Frances staring back at her with a smile.

Frances was right, Binns was a horrible lecturer. Lily watched as Felicity nodded off a few times, wishing for it to be her who was falling asleep. 

When the class was over, Lily had to shake Felicity awake. “Come on, we only have ten minutes to make it to the greenhouses,” she said. “Mm, where am I?” Felicity mumbled.

Sirius, Remus, and James caught up to them on their way down to the bottom floor. “Nice to see you today, Remus,” Lily said offhandedly. “Nice to see you too, Lily,” he replied, grinning.

“Why does he get a hello?” James demanded. “Why are you still talking to us?” Felicity asked. The girls laughed and headed to the front of the greenhouse away from the boys.

The class went by quickly, but all Lily could think about was lunch. She grabbed Felicity’s hand and dragged her down the hall past everyone else who was headed exactly where they were going. Lily wasn’t paying attention and she accidentally ran into somebody in front her.

“Oh, I’m so sorry!” she exclaimed, covering her mouth. The tall blond boy was more than pissed. He was obviously older, as he looked like a young man ready to enter the workforce. He snarled at her, his upper lip curling in disgust.

“You’d better be. Watch where you’re going,” he snapped. The girl next to him wrapped her hand in his arm and giggled. “Don’t be so mean, Lucius. She’ll pee herself,” the girl laughed. The boy kissed her on the lips. “Oh, Cissy. Why do you see the best in people?” he asked, and they found their way to the Slytherin table. Lily watched as Severus smiled up at them as they sat. 

“That was scary,” Felicity laughed, sitting down in front of Marlene McKinnon, one of the girls in their year who they shared a room with. “What was?” she asked happily. “Nothing,” Lily said quickly. “If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go sit with some of my other friends that I haven’t seen today.”

Lily made her way to Thistle and Joseph. “Hey Lily!” Thistle smiled. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Joseph gasped. “I feel like I have,” Lily said, sitting down slowly. “What happened?” Thistle asked.

“What do you know about a Slytherin named Lucius?” Lily asked. “Lucius Malfoy,” Joseph growled. “He’s the head honcho of Slytherin,” Thistle explained. “He’s one of the ones you have to look out for. He’s in kahoots with Tom Riddle,” Joseph said. Lily went red.

“I don’t know who that is,” she admitted. “He’s a really bad man. Don’t get involved with any Slytherin, and you won’t have to get involved with Riddle. I’d like to keep you intact,” Joseph said. “If anyone tells you they’d like to ‘better’ the wizarding world, look the other way,” Thistle clarified.

Lily nodded.  _Wouldn’t it be better to just nip it in the bud?_ , she thought, but she decided she didn’t know enough about magic to dictate how things worked here. 

Lily ate with Thistle and Joseph, feeling protected from whatever that Lucius guy could do to her.

Transfiguration was right after lunch. It was another double hour, this time with Ravenclaw, but Lily still kept her distance from Frances. The two weren’t exactly on speaking terms, as Lily didn’t know how to approach the issue of Joseph’s feelings.

“Look at them. That’s ridiculous,” Felicity said under her breath, pointing to Frances and her friends. Sirius was chatting with Vasana Singh, who was curling her hair around her finger. James was laughing with Elizabeth Dorewell, probably because he could see his own reflection in her lipgloss. Remus seemed to be engaged in genuine intellectual conversation with Jeanine Raspal, but she looked bored.

“Vapid, vapid creatures!” Felicity said, slamming her quill down on their desk. “Who, James and Sirius?” Lily asked sarcastically. Felicity rolled her eyes. “Not what I meant.”

Frances caught Lily’s eye and waved. Lily waved back. She noticed that nobody was talking to Frances.

“Tell me you’re not still trying to be friends with her,” Felicity said. “What if I am?” Lily asked. “You know how Joseph feels,” Felicity gasped, making a drawing on Lily’s parchment. “I do. That’s why I’m trying to get her to notice it,” Lily explained. 

“You’re beating a dead horse,” Felicity sighed. Lily stared from her worksheet to Frances. “Maybe I am,” Lily said simply.

When class was over, Lily and Felicity beelined to the Gryffindor common room. It was actually quite empty, which was surprising for the time of day. The two of them claimed a spot in the far corner of the room.

Students trickled in as the day went on. It was a quarter to five when Sirius and James came through the portrait hole. 

“Speaking of flobberworm mucus,” Lily said. Sirius smiled. “You talk about me? I’m flattered,” he said. Lily swatted him away with a smile. “We’re headed down to dinner, do you girls care to join us?” James asked.

“What’s gotten into you, using your manners?” Felicity asked. “Remus told me I should be nicer to people. Is it working?” he asked. Lily laughed. “Maybe just a little bit. I am getting a bit hungry... are you ready for dinner?” Felicity asked. Lily nodded.

The odd quadruple meandered through the corridors in silence. They ran into some of the girls that that Sirius had already made friends with and Felicity’s other friends in their house. Lily just reveled in the fact that despite who she had been back home, she knew all of these people, and all of these people knew her.

“Remus!” Sirius called, running down the grand steps to him. “Sirius!” Remus laughed, wrapping his friend up in a large hug.

They five of them ate together. It began awkwardly, but Sirius quickly broke the tension and they all laughed like old friends soon enough.

Lily glanced down the table to Thistle and Joseph who sat with their own friends, Trenton and Bede. Joseph looked deep in conversation, but Thistle looked worried.

“Excuse me, I’ll be right back,” Lily said, standing up. “Don’t be too long,” Sirius said. “Tosser,” Lily grumbled.

Lily sat down on Thistle’s other side, which was empty for at least a few feet. “Lily! There you are!” she exclaimed, wrapping her arms around the girl tightly. “Hey, I feel like I haven’t seen you all day,” Joseph smiled. 

“I just wanted to say hi. Hi,” Lily said, leaning onto Thistle’s shoulder. “Hi,” Thistle laughed, pulling Lily close to her.

Joseph continued talking to their friends, and Thistle added on when necessary. Lily almost forgot about Sirius, about Hogwarts, about Petunia, about who she was. It was nice to be welcome for a change.

“It’s been really great, but I have to get back to my other friends,” Lily said abruptly, standing up. “Oh. Well, we’ll talk to you later, then?” Joseph asked. Lily simply nodded and returned to Felicity and the others.

“You were over there for quite some time,” Felicity said. “I didn’t mean to be. I just got caught up in conversation,” she said.

The night carried on without a hitch. Lily laughed at Sirius’ jokes, refuted Remus’ qualms, and rolled her eyes when James was being stupid. 

“So, it’s been a little more than a month... what do you say to a re-judging?” Lily asked. “Okay,” James nodded, “I think I spoke too soon.”

The four of them laughed at him. “What? What?” he demanded. “You just admitted that Lily’s not that bad to be around,” Sirius said, clapping James on the back. “Well, you’re not,” James said, blushing. “You’re getting more tolerable. Spend more time with Remus and you’ll have your head on straight,” Lily smiled.

Later that month was Lily’s twelfth birthday.

She didn’t receive any gifts from her parents because they didn’t really know how to use owls (and when did they ever give her presents anyways?). Severus had given her a small potions set, and how he got it she had no idea. She’d have to write to him and thank him later. James and Sirius didn’t really have a way to get her things, so they were just on their best behavior when she was around. Joseph and Thistle had surprised her with a big box of variety sweets from Honeyduke’s.

“So, how does it feel to be twelve?” Felicity asked as they walked across the grounds to get to their broom lessons. “It doesn’t feel much different than eleven,” Lily laughed. “It’s only different because this is the first year I’ve celebrated.” 

“Hold on, this is the first time you’ve had like, a proper birthday?” Felicity asked. “Yeah? My family didn’t really throw my sister nor I parties or anything,” Lily shrugged. “Besides, I never had enough friends to invite to a party anyways.”

James and Sirius didn’t act up once in the short hour Lily had to see them before lunch. It was nice to see them behaving, even though everyone who was in the vicinity felt the weirdness of the boys’ calmness.

Lily sat with her older friends at lunch.

“Felicity told us you’ve never had a proper birthday,” Thistle said immediately. “Already?” Lily asked. “Don’t you think that’s a bit important?” Felicity asked. “You’re twelve now, that’s huge,” Joseph said.

“I don’t want a celebration or anything. I don’t need one and what you’ve done already is more than enough,” Lily said. “But it’s your birthday,” Felicity protested weakly. “Please,” Lily begged, “I don’t need special treatment. Everyone turns twelve.”

Lily’s mood was dampened for the rest of the day. She felt so silly for getting upset over her friends wanting to throw her a party, when really she should be thankful. Petunia was probably going to have her own party in March, now that their parents could afford one for their only child at home. Lily felt more desolate at the fact that she felt like a burden to her parents.

“I see you’re having a rough day,” Severus said calmly. Lily was sitting on one of the slopes outside of the castle, overlooking the black lake. She looked up to see him leaning against one of the marble supports of the castle. 

“Rough is a nice word for it,” she sighed, turning to face him. “Did you like your present?” he asked, moving to sit beside her. “I did, I meant to find you earlier to tell you, but...”.

“But you’ve had a crummy day,” Severus supplied. “Quite shit,” Lily agreed, a smile painted across her face.

The sun set on the old friends in silence. Lily was grateful that she didn’t have to tell Severus that she hated birthdays, or that she missed him, missed easy. He already knew all of those things.

When the sun had finally set, Severus looked over at her. “You know, I was sent here to bring you to class,” he said. “I’ll have to tell McGonagall I wasn’t feeling well. Today was just... a lot,” Lily said. “I know,” he said. He didn’t have to say anything more.

The two of them made their way back inside. Severus escorted Lily to Madam Pomfrey, where upon seeing her, Lily burst into tears.

“What’s wrong?” the matron asked, going to scoop Lily up and placed her into a bed. “She’s been unwell all day, but I finally convinced her to come down here to see you. I’m not sure what’s wrong,” Severus said. “You head on down to dinner, boy. I’ll check your friend out,” Pomfrey said.

Lily smiled at Severus as he waved goodbye.

_19 March 1971_  
  
Dearest Lily, 

_I received a detention from Slughorn for being “insolent”. I was hardly that, but the old man is losing his wits. I hope you’re feeling better. Tuney’s birthday is quickly approaching, but I doubt you’ll fall ill over something as minor as her being fifteen._

_Next time you’re feeling upset, owl me, okay? Even if you have to ask one of those gross fourth year friends of yours how to do it. I’m always here for you, Lily. You can tell me anything_.

_With love always,_

_S. Snape_

“Is that from your slimy Slytherin friend?” Jospeh asked, peering over the back of Lily’s letter as she ran. Tears pooled in her eyes as she finished the letter, swiping her fingers over his signature. He’d never learned how to sign his first name well, but now that he’d grown into his lanky frame, ‘S.’ was a befitting name.

“I’ll have you know that he’s more of a friend than the three of you have been!” Lily exclaimed, standing up and rushing out of the Great Hall. Sirius followed her. 

“Woah, woah. Evans, calm down,” he said. Lily was full-on crying by then. With nothing much else to do, she flung her arms around Sirius’ neck and hugged him close. “Lily?” he asked hesitantly. “Hug me back you creep,” she huffed, and he did so.

Lily pulled away and wiped her eyes. “What’s wrong?” Sirius asked. “I’m sad,” Lily deadpanned, fanning her face. Sirius frowned. “I’m not a colossal dumbass. Why?” he asked. 

“Why are you not a dumbass?” Lily chuckled. Sirius didn’t look amused. “Fine, it’s my friend. He’s in Slytherin, and everyone thinks he’s gonna go bad because of it. He’s a good person, and he deserves to be happy wherever he is, but it’s hard to be when all your other friends don’t like him.”

“Maybe you just have to wait it out, see how he’s gonna end up,” Sirius said. “Are you saying he’s going to go Dark?” Lily demanded. Sirius put his hands up. “I’m saying my mother has hosted Tom Riddle at her house and I’ve met him before. He’s a powerful man, Riddle. Be a good influence so that the others don’t get to him.”

Sirius patted Lily on the shoulder. “Besides, one good friend beats fifty bad ones.” Lily smiled at him. “You’re not so bad when James isn’t around,” she said. “James isn’t so bad, either,” Sirius said. He linked his arm with Lily’s and led her back into the Great Hall. “Agree to disagree.” 

Felicity quickly apologized on behalf of the group right before exams. Lily had been alone for six weeks while her friends had huddled off together, speaking in hushed whispers and avoiding her completely.

“That’s very kind of you,” Lily said simply. “So what, that’s it? We’re not friends anymore?” Felicity demanded, crossing her arms. Lily could hear the emotion in her voice. “You and Thistle and Joseph are constantly criticizing my friend and I hate it,” Lily said.

“And we’re just going to give up our friendship over it?” Felicity asked. “Maybe! You’re sorry to me, sure, but are you sorry to Severus?” Lily asked. “Who’s that?” Felicity replied. “Exactly!” Lily exclaimed.

“When the three of you can all say sorry and truly mean it, we can be friends again. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have an essay to write.” Lily got up and left the common room, heading straight to the library.

That night at dinner, Lily was approached by her old friends. 

“We’re sorry for what we said about your Slytherin friend,” Jacob led. He couldn’t look Lily in the eye. “We didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, we were just talking like we’d heard others talk,” Thistle said. “We didn’t really mean anything. I’m sure Severus is a really nice guy,” Felicity added.

Lily tried to hide her smile. “I accept your apologies.” Jacob looked straight up at her and smiled. “Good, because you’ll never believe what Flitwick is making us do for our charms exam.” And with that, they were made up.

When the summer holidays came around, Lily was sad to be leaving Hogwarts. She didn’t want to face Petunia, or her parents, and she didn’t want to say goodbye to her wonderfully comfortable bed or her friends.

Lily sat with her Gryffindor friends on the train ride home, figuring that she’d have Severus with her all summer long. She wanted to bask in their friendship.

“You have an owl, right? You’ll write us, right?” Felicity pestered. “Yes, I’ll write,” Lily giggled. “Are you gonna write Franny, too?” Joseph groaned. “Not just yet, don’t worry,” Lily said, leaning into his shoulder briefly. “I’ll send you some candies from when my mam takes me to Diagon for our yearly summer visits,” Thistle said. Lily nodded. “I’ll try and find you something interesting to send you from Cokeworth.”

Dorothy and Walter Evans were never more happy to see their daughter. “Oi, Sev,” Mr. Evans called. He was the only one allowed to call Snape that. “Yes, sir?” Severus replied. “Your mother asked us to bring you home. Grab your stuff and bring it to our car.”

Lily sat in between Severus and Petunia on the ride home. Severus was reading  _1,001 Magical Herbs and Fungi_ while Petunia was reading  _The Iliad_ and it was giving Lily a headache.

The Evans dropped Severus at home later in the day. His mother welcomed him home, already pawing at his greasy hair.

Lily unloaded her stuff and brought all of it to her tiny bedroom next to Petunia’s by herself. “Think you’ve gone and learned it all already?” Petunia asked. “Why? Miss me?” Lily snarked, pulling out her small Gryffindor triangle flag to put up above her bed. “No,” Petunia answered quickly.

“No, I’ve got six years left, Tuney,” Lily sighed. “You have, have you?” Petunia asked. Lily nodded. “Too good for us, then?” she pressed. “Why do you care?” Lily sighed.

“Why aren’t you snipping back?” Petunia whined. “Aren’t you old enough to know that you could just leave me alone?” Lily asked. “Could you just tell me the most interesting thing you’ve learned this year?” Petunia asked.

“Sit down,” Lily sighed. Petunia flopped onto her bed. Lily opened her trunk and pulled out  _Quidditch Through the Ages_.  “You see that ball there? It’s the size of a two pound coin and someone has to catch it for the game to end.”

“What game?”

“Quidditch. It’s actually quite fun.” 

“How does it work?”

Lily spent the rest of her evening cuddled up with her older sister, teaching her the logistics of a game neither of them could’ve imagined existed. She knew that by tomorrow, Petunia would grate on her nerves and they’d be at each other’s throats, but the time they spent together was worth more than Lily knew. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you can’t tell me that lily doesn’t have anxiety over getting older 
> 
> as always, comments and kudos are appreciated !!


	3. Girls and Boys

* * *

Late 1972

The summer months dragged on, preventing Lily from going back to the one place that made her happy. Petunia had been pestering her nonstop, Severus wasn’t available to study or practice, and Lily didn’t have anyone else to get her out of the house.

The only things motivating her were the letters she received and sent to her friends. All three were fascinated with muggle post. Thistle had kept her promise of sending candies from Diagon Alley (jelly slugs, Lily’s favorite), and Lily sent her a Polaroid of the lake behind her house. 

When the time came for Lily to buy her books for her second year, Eileen Prince took Lily and her son to Diagon for the Evanses. They could hardly afford the fare to London, let alone the supplies that their daughter needed in a foreign currency.

“You really don’t have to do this, Ms. Prince,” Lily said. Eileen hated to be called Mrs. Snape, mostly because she hated Severus’ father, but also because Princes had more notoriety than Snapes. “I insist, Lily dear.

“Severus told me all about how your parents were taking the two of you, and when I found that out to be a farce, I decided to take the trip into my own hands.”

“Mum,” Severus complained, nearly dropping his new cauldron full of his and Lily’s books on the pavement. “That’s what you get when you lie, Snape,” Eileen teased, ruffling Severus’ hair.

“Lucius,” Eileen remarked as they passed a couple. They were gorgeous; both tall with legs for miles, the man with blond hair, the woman with black hair on top and blonde underneath, sharp features and cold eyes. Lily immediately recognized them as the older Slytherins who scared her the year before.

“Ms. Prince. Severus. And... you must be...,” Lucius greeted, leaving the end open for interpretation. Just as Lily was about to answer, Eileen cut in for her. “This is my niece Lily. She’s my niece on Elton’s side, you know, my brother? His wife’s sister’s daughter,” she lied with ease, a smile on your face.

Lily shot Severus a look, but he shrugged. “Lily Prince?” Lucius asked. “Unfortunately, it’s Evans,” Lily said. “Quite,” Lucius said, eyeing her suspiciously.

“Well, Eileen, this is my betrothed, Narcissa Black,” Lucius said, introducing the girl to Severus’ mother as if she was his own. “Oh, I’ve heard a lot about you, but I must say, you’re much more pleasant in person,” Eileen laughed. Narcissa laughed with her.

“Why only betrothed?” Eileen asked. “I still have my final year at Hogwarts to finish,” Narcissa explained. “Ah, you can still look after my Severus here, then,” Eileen said, patting her son on the head. Severus looked murderous. “I’ll do my best,” the young girl said.

Lucius and Narcissa continued down the alleyway, presumably to pick up Narcissa’s books from Flourish and Blotts. “Why did you stop them?” Severus asked. “I thought you hated them.”

“I don’t hate them. I like the Black family. Their youngest at Hogwarts, Sirius? He’s in your class, no? That’s a one-up for you,” Eileen said. “He’s actually in my house,” Lily said. “Oh. Well, there’s always Regulus.”

The three made their way home as the sun set. Lily remembered her birthday earlier in the year and how Severus sat with her, looking out over the fields for hours while she blocked out the rest of the world. She slowly reached over and grabbed Severus’ hand, squeezing it gently. 

“Ms. Prince, why did you claim me as one of your family to Lucius?” Lily asked as they unpacked Severus’ stuff in the Prince-Snape household. “Oh, Malfoy’s with the wrong sort. You know, Riddle and them,” Eileen said. “You don’t need the world knowing you’re muggleborn right now. You’re as good as mine, anyways. I’ll take care of you.”

Lily felt her cheeks pink up. “Thank you, Ms. Prince,” she said. “Don’t mention it. Literally, don’t. Head home quick. Tobias will be here any second.” Lily ran down the street back to her house with a quick thank you and goodbye to both of the Princes. 

When term began, Eileen also took them to King’s Cross. She helped them into the barrier and hurried them along to put their trunks away. Lily put Elias away with Severus’ new toad, Barmy.

Once on the train, the two went their separate ways. No matter how close they were at home, they had different friend groups at Hogwarts.

Lily set out to find Felicity, but found Joseph and Frances first. 

“Lily!” Joseph exclaimed, standing up. She wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tightly. “You don’t know how much I’ve missed you,” she said into his chest. “Three months is too long, eh?” he laughed, ruffling her hair.

“Joe hasn’t shut up about you all summer, I promise,” Frances said as Lily took a seat across from the siblings. Joseph went red. “Not her, Franny,” he mumbled. “Oh, sorry,” she laughed.

“Where’s Philomena?” Lily asked politely. “She’s head girl, she doesn’t need us anymore,” Frances said. “Is that so?” Lily asked. “Seems like it,” Joseph conceded.

Felicity found them next, and there was another round of hugging. “Lily, I’ve got to tell you all about this guy I met on holiday in Germany,” Felicity squealed.

“Oi, is she not the one you’ve been on about?” Frances asked. Joseph went red again, but so did Felicity. “It’s not Lissie,” he said. Lily was surprised at the nickname. “What?” Felicity asked. “Joseph likes someone, but I can’t remember her name,” Frances supplied.

Thistle found them, thankfully breaking the tension. Everyone hugged, minus Frances, and they fell back into easy conversation.

The train took off and they peeled out of London. Soon, the English countryside was painted for Lily to watch.

“You don’t get out often, do you?” Frances asked. Lily eyed her. “Not much, no,” she said cautiously. “Don’t worry, I don’t either. I’ve got enough rattling around in here and I don’t need more than I have to have,” Frances said, tapping the side of her head. “You’re odd,” Lily said frankly.

“Oh, is that all?” Frances asked. “Just saying what I think. You do it, don’t you?” Lily replied. “I mean, I guess. I’m not used to the same treatment,” Frances said. “Well, maybe get used to it, then,” Lily said, a smile smile forming. Frances smiled back.

Hours later, the train stopped at Hogwarts station. Everyone filed off and went to catch a carriage up to the castle, now that all were above first year.

“I’ve missed this,” Lily sighed. “What? School?” Thistle asked, locking their arms together. “Yeah,” Lily said, feeling winded by the sheer beauty of the castle, “I did.”

Two days after the welcoming feast was their first day back to actual ‘school’. Lily couldn’t say she missed the assignments, but she loved learning how to perfect her skills.

“You have a natural aptitude for potions, Miss Evans,” Slughorn said in front of the entire class. There were a few stares, mostly from kids that Lily didn’t know, but she just blushed. “Thank you, professor,” she said. “Would you meet me after class?”

“I only have a few minutes, professor, I have to be in herbology soon and it’s halfway across the castle,” Lily said. “Don’t be in such a rush, dear,” Slughorn laughed. “Youth only lasts so long. 

“I asked you to meet me after because I want to formally invite you to my little sponsored group that some have deemed ‘Slug Club’. Now, you’ll only be eligible next term and our inductions are in May so you won’t be able to attend a meeting this year, but you’d still have an extracurricular. How does that sound?”

Lily was astounded. “With all due respect, sir, have you considered other second years above me? Perhaps Severus Snape?” she asked. “How thoughtful of you, Miss Evans. Ten points to Gryffindor. Yes, I will be inviting Master Snape to the club this afternoon, but nobody else your age. You two are the brightest potion brewers I have seen for a while,” Slughorn said.

“Well, if Severus accepts, I accept,” Lily nodded. “Very well. I’ll keep you updated on his answer, then. See you the day after next, Lily,” Slughorn said, then dismissed her.

“What did the old slug want?” Felicity asked, joining Lily as she exited the dungeon classroom. “He invited me to join a special club for people who do well in potions,” Lily said. “You say that like it’s a bad thing,” Felicity said.

“Well, it’s not, but it eats away at my time to have a social life,” Lily said as they climbed the stairs to the ground floor. “Besides, I don’t know if I want to make potions the thing I’m known for. I quite like defense against the dark arts and I’m hoping I’ll like runes this year.”

“Ugh, you sound more and more like Lupin as every second passes,” Felicity groaned. “I thought you two were at least on speaking terms?” Lily asked, heading across the corridor to the outdoor greenhouses that Sprout had her classroom in. “That’s putting it nicely,” Felicity said, making a face before pushing open the door for them. Lily took her place next to Sirius, and Felicity fell to her other side.

“Hey, Evans. Long time no see,” Sirius said, smirking at her. “Nice to see that you haven’t changed a wink, Black,” Lily grinned. James waved at her and she nodded in response. Lupin didn’t even look at her. 

After herbology was lunch, and Lily couldn’t even put into words how much she’d longed for Hogwarts food all summer long.

“Fifth year is the worst,” Joseph groaned. “Is it really?” Felicity asked. “We have O.W.L.s this year, they’re like the biggest tests we have to take until seventh year, if we even make good enough grades for that,” Thistle explained.

“Watch, they’ll be sitting here in two years telling us how horrible seventh year is,” Felicity said to Lily. “No, they’ll be fine by then, they’ll have apprenticeships to look forward to,” Lily said, waving her hand dismissively. 

“Where did you learn about apprenticeships?” Joseph asked. “Slughorn wants me to take one up in potions under his old master,” Lily shrugged. “Really? Sees that much promise, does he?” Thistle asked. “I guess he does. It’s not like I’m really that good anyways...”.

Transfiguration was a double hour after lunch, as always. Lily saw that Felicity had sat with Stellan Claude, a Slytherin boy in their year. For all of the times that Felicity had complained about Severus for being a Slytherin, Lily was a little more than pissed.

“Lily!” Frances called, patting the empty seat next to her. Lily sat next to Frances with caution. “Hello.”

“How’s Joe?” Frances asked. “You’re genuinely asking?” Lily questioned. “Of course I am, he’s my brother. Is he alright?” Frances pressed. “He’s fine,” Lily nodded. 

The class started soon after, and Lily was surprised to find how good Frances was at transfiguration.

“You can’t be too surprised, can you? I’m a Ravenclaw,” Frances laughed. “There’ve been stupid Ravenclaws, right?” Lily smiled. “Ignorant, sure, but not outright stupid,” Frances said. 

“This is where I leave you. I have Ravenclaw potions,” Frances said. “I’ve got runes,” Lily shrugged, pointing behind her. “Good thing we’ll be partners all year then, or I’d never see you. Danforth assigns miles of essays,” Frances said. “I’ll have to manage,” Lily smiled.

Frances waved goodbye as she took off down the steps to the dungeon. Lily almost forgot that she had to be in class. 

“Sorry I’m late,” she hissed to Remus. He moved his bag that he’d left in the chair to save Lily a seat. “You should be. I told at least five people they couldn’t sit here and they had thought I was a wallflower freak,” Remus replied.

The teacher took roll and began going over his classroom expectations. The class was only a quarter short of an hour, which is something Lily was grateful for; her and Remus would be able to beat the common room rush by 15 minutes.

“So, why have you and Felicity stopped talking?” Lily asked, packing her book and notes into her bag. “She wanted to be more than friends, I denied, she ended the friendship,” Remus shrugged. “She’s a bit boy crazy,” Lily said hopelessly.

“A bit?” Remus asked sarcastically. “Only a bit,” Lily smiled, bumping shoulders with Remus. 

The two of them were studying in the corner of the Gryffindor common room when James and Sirius burst in. “Well, if it isn’t Lupin! And Evans!” James exclaimed. “It’s been a long day, James,” Remus sighed.

“When’s your next change? Do you know?” James asked. “Of course I know!” Remus exclaimed. He picked his books up and rushed up the stairs of the boys’ dormitory. “Why would you ask something like that?” Sirius demanded. “I’m just trying to be friendly!” James replied. “That’s not friendly!” Sirius yelled.

“What’s going on?” Lily asked. “Nothing,” James and Sirius replied at the same time. “Well now I know something’s up,” Lily crossed her arms. “No, you don’t. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a friend to apologize to,” James said, crossing the room to follow Remus.

Sirius sat down in Remus’ old seat with a huff. “Remus and I were doing fine until you two showed up and now he’s upset,” Lily said. “I’ve heard James has that effect on people,” Sirius shrugged. 

Lily rolled her eyes and continued doing her work. She’d have to check in with Remus after dinner to see if he was doing any better.

“How’d you two get into runes anyways? It’s for third years and above only,” Sirius said. “McGonagall asked us if we wanted to fit another class into our schedule, we agreed. We dropped flying because neither of us care to be on the Quidditch team and now join Ravenclaws in runes instead,” Lily explained.

“You and Remus astound me,” Sirius announced. “In a good way?” Lily asked. Sirius scoffed. “I mean, yeah, but it’s scary. Why would you choose more learning?” Sirius asked. “Some of us enjoy reading, Black. Maybe you should try it sometime,” Lily said, pushing  _Hogwarts, a History_ across the table to him. He pushed it back. “No thanks.”

She and Sirius made their way down to dinner without Remus or James.

“Hey, Sirius, can I sit with you?” a short boy asked. “Sure, Peter. We have empty seats,” Sirius said, gesturing to the bench in front of him and Lily. The boy sat. “Thank you.”

“Hi, I’m Lily,” Lily said, introducing herself. “I know who you are. James talks about you all the time, and I just started looking for you,” Peter said. Lily just looked at him. “You do, do you?” she asked. He nodded earnestly.

“Peter’s thinking of trying out for the quidditch team with James and I,” Sirius said. “You? Quidditch?” Lily asked. “Yes, I’m offended you had to ask,” Sirius said, putting his hand to his heart feigning shock. Lily shoved him playfully. 

“What position?” she asked. “James is going back for chaser, I’m going for keeper, and Peter’s...,” Sirius left the statement open-ended, seeing that he didn’t really know what Peter was doing. “I’m going for beater,” Peter said quickly. “Beater,” Sirius finished.

“You don’t necessarily have a beater frame. More of a chaser. Give James a run for his money,” Lily said. Peter looked away. “I couldn’t do that to James,” he said seriously. Sirius laughed. “Cheer up, Pete. James isn’t that attached to the game.”

They ate dinner with mild silence from Peter. He seemed to still be mad at Lily for the comment she’d made, in jest, about a boy who probably made fun of Peter behind his back. 

Peter followed them back to Gryffindor tower, and Lily felt bad that she’d never noticed Peter as one of her housemates.

“You’d better go check on Remus. I’m going to head to bed,” Lily said to Sirius. “Already planning on it. ‘Night, Evans,” Sirius said. Lily kissed his cheek. “Goodnight, Sirius,” she said, then headed to her room.

“Hey! I haven’t seen you since lunch!” Felicity exclaimed. She was sitting on the floor in her pajamas, her back to her trunk and a box of chocolates sat open in her hands. “It’s been a stressful first day,” Lily laughed. “Has it? Didn’t notice. Much too excited being back with friends,” Felicity smiled.

“By friends you mean...?” Lily asked, hoping to get an answer for the situation with Claude, but Felicity had other ideas.

“Did you notice Joe calling me Lissie the other day? He’s been doing that a lot recently. I think he likes me,” Felicity said. “And you like him?” Lily asked, trying not to laugh. “Obviously. He’s older, hotter... why wouldn’t I?” Felicity asked dreamily. 

“So because he uses your nickname, you think you’re in love?” Lily asked, sitting on her bed. Felicity stared at Lily. “You know he calls his sister by a nickname?” Lily pressed.

“He doesn’t call you a nickname!” Felicity pointed. “My name is a nickname, Lissie,” Lily said. “Stop using his name for me,” Felicity said, throwing a chocolate frog card at Lily. “I’m using your nickname because we’re  _friends_ ,” Lily said.

“Fine, I see how it is. I’m going to bed, Lily,” Felicity pouted. “Goodnight, Lissie,” Lily laughed, beginning to change into her pajamas. 

Lily’s sheets were a welcome comfort after a strenuous afternoon. She was asleep almost as soon as her head hit the pillow. 

A week into October was Frances’ twelfth birthday. Her siblings had brought her a cake that her parents had given them in Hogsmeade. Her friends hadn’t done anything but wish her a happy birthday. Lily had learned a charm that exploded ‘happy birthday’ in fireworks.

“You learned that just for me?” Frances asked, blushing. “Well, I learned it for birthdays in general, but yours was the first,” Lily said with a smile. Frances hugged her. “Thank you so much,” she whispered. “It’s no problem,” Lily said, returning the hug.

Sirius had made an ass of himself at Halloween, opting to dress as Binns for the day, and it had landed him in a week’s worth of detention with him.

“That’s what you get for being a fool,” Remus said, swinging his hand that was intertwined with Felicity’s. She just giggled and smiled at him adoringly. Lily rolled her eyes. “It was worth the look on McGonagall’s face as she tried not to laugh,” Sirius said.

“This is where we leave you,” Lily said. The four had stopped outside of Binns office right after dinner. “You’ll be back to get me later?” Sirius asked. Lily laughed and hugged him. “Don’t worry for a second,” she said.

As Remus, Felicity, and Lily made their way back to the common room, James and Peter joined them. 

“I’m glad you’ve got your girlfriend here with you, Remus. Otherwise, I’d start to question whether or not I should be worried,” James barked, clapping Remus on the back. “About what?” Remus asked harshly. “You know... if you like blokes or not,” James laughed, high-fiving Peter.

“I didn’t know you were homophobic, Potter,” Lily said. “I’m not,” he defended. “Sure does sound like it,” Lily replied. “What if I did like blokes, James?” Remus demanded. James put his hands up.

“I was just trying to be funny, don’t get mad,” James said. “It’s not funny, James. Some people die over that,” Lily said. “They do?” he asked. “Where I’m from, they don’t tolerate people who are different. It’s not a joke.” James looked pale, and Lily was sure she’d finally gotten through to him about something.

“ _Iauna patentis_ ,” Peter said, and the portrait opened. “When did that change?” Felicity asked. “When the Slytherins tried to break in last week,” Remus said as if it were nothing.

_What if I did like blokes, James?_ Remus had asked. If Lily had correctly guessed where that had come from, Felicity would have her heart broken in approximately 12 months, max. Did Lupin have a crush on a boy?

Lily felt her stomach churn. She liked a girl, why did it bother her that Lupin liked a boy? Maybe it didn’t bother her, maybe it was excitement that Remus was like her. She knew someone who could understand. 

“Do you like blokes?” she blurted as they left runes together on a cold November afternoon. Remus looked shocked. “Why?” he asked cautiously. “I was just wondering. I know you’re with Felicity, but...”. 

“But James put the idea in your head,” Remus said. Lily nodded. “If I did?” he asked. “You’d be like me,” Lily said. “I know you like men,” Remus said. “No, silly. I mean, yes, but no. I like boys and girls.”

Remus looked surprised. “You can like both?” he asked. “I do. And I know usually when you’re the only one, that makes you wrong, but this is one of those things I feel like I’m not alone on,” Lily said. “You’re not. Alone, I mean. I like both,” Remus said, almost as if he were figuring that out for himself for the first time. 

“Good,” Lily smiled. She reached out and wrapped her arm in his. “We have a lot more in common now.” Lupin looked blanched. “Can you not tell anyone? Especially not Sirius or James. That would not be good,” he said. “Your secret is safe with me, sir,” Lily said.

Transfiguration was slowly becoming Lily’s favorite class. Runes was the most interesting, potions was the easiest, but transfiguration had Frances. She was becoming Lily’s favorite person.

“Philomena is getting engaged over the holidays,” Frances said. She and Lily were walking through the castle over the weekend, just spending time together. “How do you know?” Lily asked. Frances took a seat in the courtyard and Lily followed suit.

“My mum told me. Her boyfriend, Thoren, asked permission to propose. My father said yes, because he’s an idiot. So she’s getting engaged,” Frances shrugged. “How do you feel about that?” Lily asked.

“She’s going to be happy, I know that. All I can do is try to be happy for her,” Frances said. “That’s not true, you’re allowed to be upset,” Lily said, wrapping an arm around Frances’ shoulders. “I’m not upset, really. Just feels weird. We’re getting older. Life doesn’t just happen in the present,” Frances said.

“You’re too wise,” Lily said simply. “How many times do we have to go over the fact that I’m a Ravenclaw?” Frances smiled. “I know that,” Lily scoffed. “Do you? I think you spend too much time with those idiots in your house and not enough time with Severus,” Frances said. 

“You think Severus makes me smarter?” Lily asked, genuinely surprised. “Smarter than Black and Potter? Yes. Do you even have to ask that?” Frances replied. “What about Thistle and Joseph and Felicity?” Lily pushed.

“Thistle and Joe aren’t wise, but they’re smart enough to know when to keep their mouths shut. Felicity is volatile,” Frances answered. Lily paused for a moment and looked to Frances. “You know, you’re right.”

Frances smiled at her. “I usually am,” she said, leaning into Lily’s shoulder. Lily felt butterflies for the first time and smiled wider.

The Haguthorns went home for Christmas break. Thistle, Felicity, James, and Sirius all went home, leaving Lily, Remus, and Severus alone in the castle.

Lily went out of her way to spend more time with Severus than she had the year prior. She introduced him to Remus, and neither took very well, so she decided to just keep them separate.

“Term starts back on your birthday,” Lily said. She was upside down on the melted-snow-wet grass, her legs propped up on the tree that Severus had his back to. “It does?” he asked. She noticed he wasn’t all there.

“Is something the matter?” Lily asked. “That boy you made me meet... you don’t like him, do you? Like, that wasn’t for me to approve or disapprove of him?” Severus asked.

Lily laughed. “Remus? God, no,” she said, pushing away thoughts of Frances. “Why would I do that? I don’t need your approval,” she joked. Severus frowned. “It’s good that you don’t like him, I don’t either,” he said. 

“He’s still my friend,” Lily said, sitting up quickly. “Okay. But I don’t approve of him in a courtship,” Severus said, turning away from Lily. “ _Courtship_ ? Sev, are you serious? Are you aware that you sound like your mother?” Lily asked.

“If you’re going to make fun of me, maybe you should just go back to him,” Severus spat. Lily stared at him, open-mouthed and genuinely shocked. She waited for him to apologize, but he never did.

“Maybe I will then,” she said, standing quickly, dusting off the back of her trousers. “See you when I see you, I guess.” 

“Where’s Snape?” Remus asked Lily when she entered the common room. At least he had the decency to call him by his real name. She huffed as she sat down next to him on the couch. “He’s still outside. He made a fuss about you being just my friend.”

“We are just friends, right?” Remus asked. “Yes!” Lily said exasperatedly. “Even if I did like you, we wouldn’t work out. We’re too similar.” Remus nodded in agreement.

“So why are you upset?” Remus asked. “I don’t know... he’s my oldest friend and he’s just acting so weird lately. It’s like, I can’t be me without him wanting to correct something,” Lily said. “I get that. James can be that way,” Remus said. Lily eyed him. 

“James is always that way,” she said. “Maybe he is. It doesn’t matter. We just have shitty friends, don’t we?” Remus asked, closing his book forcefully. “Besides Sirius,” Lily said, slumping down into the couch and looking into the roaring fire in the hearth. “Besides Sirius,” Remus conceded, then grabbed Lily’s hand in his own.


	4. Steady, as She Goes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is a little short, but i promise the next one will make up for it !!

Early 1973

All Hogwarts students returned two days before term began. Lily couldn’t say that she missed Sirius and James’ antics, but she did miss the two of them making her life interesting. The Haguthorns seemed to have a new pep in their step, one that Thistle shared. Felicity didn’t look overly pleased. 

“I can’t believe I’m saying that I missed transfiguration,” Lily smiled. “Careful now, or McGonagall will hear,” Frances teased. “I didn’t say I hated it. I just prefer potions.”

“Because you get off easy, Ms. Youngest-Member-of-Slug-Club,” Frances said. Lily blushed. “Don’t remind me. Inductions are next month and I have never been more nervous in my entire life,” Lily groaned.

“Just bring Remus. He’s easy to ask, right? He’s just a friend, there’ll be nothing between the two of you after,” Frances said. “How often do I have to tell you that you’re a genius?” Lily asked. “Often, but it never gets old,” Frances beamed.

That night at dinner, Lily sat on Sirius’ right with Peter on his left, opposite Remus, Felicity, and James.

“Slug Club dinner? I’d be honored, Evans,” James said, grinning ear to ear. “Actually, I was thinking of inviting Remus,” Lily smiled. Remus returned the look.

“What are you playing at?” Felicity demanded. “What do you mean?” Lily asked. “That’s my boyfriend, you home wrecker!” Felicity exclaimed. “It’s not like that, Lissie,” Remus said quickly. “It isn’t, I promise,” Lily added. “Why do you always go after the boys I like?” Felicity demanded, standing up and storming off.

“Why did you have to ask then?” Remus asked. “I don’t know!” Lily said. “Now I have to go after her and be a good boyfriend even though I’d rather stay for dessert,” Remus pouted. “I’m sorry!” Lily said. Remus stood up and went after Felicity.

Sirius rolled his eyes as Peter got up and moved to sit next to James. “So, Lily... are you still gonna go with Remus?” Peter asked. “What kind of question is that?” Lily demanded. “Just saying... you could go with James... or me?” Peter said.

“What about me?” Sirius whined. Lily looked at the three of them with disgust. “Foul. That’s what you are. Foul. I’m going to join Remus,” she said, standing up. She calmly exited the Great Hall.

“Hey,” Frances said, catching up with her. “Hey,” Lily said softly. “I saw you leave, I hope it wasn’t creepy to follow,” she said. “It’s not. Unless you’re going to tell me that I need to take you to the Slug Club dinner because Remus is indisposed.”

“Indisposed? Remus Lupin?” Frances asked. Lily moved to the alcove to be out of the way. “Yes. He has a girlfriend, you know?” Lily said. “He does?” Frances asked.

“You wonder why I constantly have to be reminded that you’re in the ultra-smart house,” Lily smiled. “Shut up. Who is he dating?” Frances blushed. “Felicity,” Lily said.

“Remus has a girlfriend, and it’s Felicity?” Frances asked. Lily nodded. Frances immediately began to laugh, doubling over as she held her stomach. “Why’s that so funny?” Lily asked, unable to resist a few giggles slipping out.

Frances began to walk. Lily followed.

“What’s so funny about Remus dating Felicity?” Lily repeated. “Nothing, just thought he was dating... never mind. Who are you going to take to the dinner now?” Felicity asked. “Still Remus. He just doesn’t know yet,” Lily said. “Is that so?” Frances asked.

They had stopped in the completely empty covered walkway that led to the quidditch pitch. “I was Remus’ friend longer. Felicity is going to move on quickly,” Lily said. Frances leaned her hands over the railing on the walkway. “Why are you friends with her?” she asked.

“I think we’re more like people who know each other so if we have a class together we won’t be alone, and that’s not friendship,” Lily said. “It isn’t,” Frances agreed. “Are we friends?”

Lily felt her heart flip. “I consider you a friend,” she said quietly. Frances beamed and Lily felt relief. “That’s great! I think we’re friends, too. I just didn’t want to be weird and start inviting myself to your free time,” Frances said. “You aren’t. I enjoy spending time with you,” Lily said.

“I enjoy spending time with you, too,” Frances said. “Joe’s gonna have a cow when he hears this.”

Frances sat at the Gryffindor table with Lily, Thistle, and Joseph for lunch. “So you two are friends now? When did this happen?” Joseph asked. “Transfiguration. It’s a double hour, as always,” Frances said.

“Please don’t be upset,” Lily pleaded. “Why would I be? You’re only buddied up with my sister,” Joseph grit. “Don’t be that way,” Thistle chided. “Just because I’m friends with your sister doesn’t mean I don’t empathize with you,” Lily said.

“Hey!” Frances said though a mouthful of food. “I may not understand what you’re going through, but I never thought you were stupid for it.”

“You sure made it seem that way,” Joseph said. “I’m sorry that the things I said made you feel bad,” Frances said. Lily shifted awkwardly, feeling as if she was intruding on a family matter.

Someone tapped Lily on the shoulder. She turned around to see a disheveled Sirius. “Sirius?” she asked. “Can we talk? Elsewhere?” he asked. “Sure,” she said, then turned back to her friends who were deep in conversation. She stood up slowly and followed Sirius past Remus, James, Peter, and Felicity out of the Great Hall.

“Where are we going?” Lily asked. “The library,” Sirius said. The two of them were now side by side as they made their way up sets of stairs. “You know how to get to the library?” Lily laughed as she grabbed his hand, giving it a small squeeze. He said nothing in return.

Neither of them said anything until they were seated in the farthest divans in the expansive library.

“Now are you going to tell me why you look like you haven’t done your hair today?” Lily asked. “I did do my hair today,” Sirius snarked. Lily glared at him. “Not the point. Tell me why you’re upset.”

“It’s Remus,” Sirius said. “That could mean a lot of things,” Lily replied. “It’s Remus and Felicity, is that better?” Sirius asked. Lily was quiet as she tried to process the context clues. “You’re going to have to spell it out for me, I’m not a genius,” Lily said.

“I hate that they’re dating,” Sirius said. “Well, it’s not like they’re really dating, we’re twelve. They hold hands, and I doubt they’ve even kissed,” Lily said. Sirius cringed. “That doesn’t make it better,” he said.

“What about them dating? You want to date Felicity? I wouldn’t, if I were you-.”

“No! The opposite!” Sirius yelled. Madam Pince shushed them loudly. “Sorry,” Lily whispered to her.

“You what?” she demanded of Sirius. “I have a crush on Remus,” he groaned, shoving his face in his hands. “That’s like, the best possible situation that could have happened,” Lily said, trying not to laugh at Sirius’ misery.

“How?” he asked, looking up at her. “I give him and Felicity two more months, max. She gets bored easily,” Lily said. She reached over the table to place her hand on Sirius’. “Are you sure? Even if they do break up, do you think he’d go for me? A boy, I mean. I know I’m all that,” Sirius said, trying to brush his long hair into place.

Lily laughed. “You should have no problem, trust me,” she smiled. “Why is there always something that I don’t know about?” Sirius groaned. “There’s always something you won’t know. Don’t take it personally, it’s the same for everyone,” Lily said. “That’s really reassuring,” Sirius said sarcastically. “No problem,” Lily smiled.

Sure enough, Remus Lupin was single by Valentine’s Day.

Lily had to hear the whining and complaining from both ends; Remus’ on how he would never get back the time he wasted on such an ungrateful person and Felicity’s on who would be able to give her a Valentine this year. 

Lily received three Valentines by owl. One was from Severus, which she would’ve ripped up if she hadn’t noticed his untidy scrawl at the bottom.  _I’m sorry, we see each other too much to be fighting like this. I shouldn’t have said what I said. Forgive me?_

The second was from James, and it was nothing more than any other Gryffindor girl in their year would’ve gotten, so Lily rolled her eyes. The third was from Frances, which was completely unanticipated, and it made Lily blush.

_This is as friends, right? We’re friends, you said. I just wanted to let you know that you’re my truest, most genuine influence and for that I am thankful. This holiday is about love, but it might be too soon for that. I appreciate you, Lily Evans._

Lily smiled to herself as she tucked the note into her transfiguration book.

O.W.L.s took place in late April. Thistle and Joseph were almost nowhere to be seen, as they were studying nonstop. Lily spent almost all of her time with Remus, Sirius, and Frances, when the first two were hanging out with James and Peter.

“Do you think Joe’s going to pass his tests?” Lily asked Frances. They were sat outside in the warming sun, excused from class because of the exams. “I know he will. He’s always so worried about doing well that he does  too well,” Frances said.

“Can one do too well?” Lily asked. “Joe always finds a way,” Frances smiled. “Does Philomena?” Lily asked. Frances thought for a moment. “Philly knows she’ll do well, so she does well. She’s cocky. Joseph works for excellence,” she answered.

“Do you think that’s why he’s a Gryffindor?” Lily continued. “I think he’s one of the most brave and determined people I know, and his talents would’ve been wasted in Ravenclaw,” Frances nodded.

“You know that he feels like a freak? Something your parents said made him feel like he’s not a part of the family,” Lily said. Frances looked over at her, jaw set tightly.

“I’m not saying this to make you feel bad,” Lily clarified. “I just want you to understand. I understand because my sister called me a freak outright. I’m the only magical one in my family. All I want is my sister to accept me for who I am.”

Frances thought for a moment. “I think I’m starting to get it,” she said. Lily nodded proudly. “I’ll never fully get it, I don’t think. I’m not a Gryffindor, and I’m not muggleborn. I’ll try my best, though,” Frances said.

They walked back to the castle together in silence. The sun was starting to set, and Lily stopped to savor it.

“The sun rises and sets every day, yet people never stop revering it,” Frances said, putting her sweater back on. “Just because you see it every day doesn’t make it less breathtakingly beautiful,” Lily said. “I just don’t see the appeal. It’s not special after you’re desensitized to it,” Frances said.

Lily thought for a moment. “Not everything has to be special for it to be important. If you’ve been to one wedding, you’ve been to them all. That doesn’t make them any less special,” she said. Frances smiled. “I like the way you think,” she said, then wrapped Lily in her arms.

The end of term came too quickly. Lily couldn’t believe that another year had passed her by without her realizing it.

She and her regular friends clambered into an empty compartment on the Hogwarts Express, and somehow this goodbye felt more bitter. Thistle and Joseph would only be with them for another two train rides, and that in and of itself was scary. 

“You should come over to Haguthorn Manor!” Frances said. Lily laughed and leaned into her side. “You live in a manor? I don’t know that your parents would even want me to come,” she smiled. It was a joke, but with what Lily had heard about blood purity, it could very well be true.

“Nonsense. I’ll owl you after I ask them,” Frances said. “Okay, that sounds like a plan. I’ll ask mine, too,” Lily said. “She doesn’t have an owl,” Joseph interjected, and made a face at his sister that was unreadable to Lily. 

“That’s alright, they won’t notice. I trust you have our address anyways?” Frances asked. Lily simply nodded. Frances smiled as she leaned her head onto Lily’s. “I’m going to ask for the tail end of summer— a whole month. How does that sound?” she asked.

“Amazing. All of August?” Lily asked. “All of August,” Frances confirmed. “Why don’t you come, too?” Joseph asked Thistle. “Philomena‘s having Thoren over.” 

“Aren’t they engaged?” Thistle asked, and her tone confirmed how flustered she seemed to be. “Yes, but Lily and Felicity aren’t,” Joseph said quickly. “You’ll be my guest, it’s fine. You can just spend your time with Joe,” Frances said, winking at her brother. He went bright red up to his hairline.

When the train arrived in London, Lily felt exhaustingly sad. She didn’t want to go back to Petunia’s horribleness, even if it was going to be cut short, and she didn’t want to have to leave her friends.

Almost as if Frances could hear her thoughts, she grabbed Lily’s hand. “We’ll see you in two months. You think you can wait that long?” she whispered. Lily gave a sad smile and nodded, pulling Frances into a hug.

Severus walked up behind the two of them and cleared his throat. “Snape! I haven’t seen you in forever,” Frances said, clapping him on his bicep. He shied away from her touch. “Frances,” he said, then turned to Lily.

“Ready to go?” he asked her. “Ready, but not happy,” she answered, sneaking a smile to Frances. “My mother’s here. She’s waiting on us,” Severus said sharply.

Lily waved goodbye to Frances as she walked to the entrance of King’s Cross with Severus. “I forgive you. For what you said about Remus,” Lily said. “Thank you,” Severus said curtly.

Eileen dropped Lily off at home with a kind goodbye. Severus said nothing. Lily didn’t mind. She was quite tired, so all she did was curl up in her bed and fall asleep with thoughts of returning to Hogwarts in a few months’ time. 


	5. Where Does The Good Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shit gets real

Late 1973

Lily arrived at Haguthorn Manor on the first of August. Her parents dropped her off at the gate, so she had to drag her Hogwarts trunk up the pathway to the actual house by herself. The house was bigger and gloomier than she had imagined, and it made her stop and think about how she should’ve expected it to be better than her mind could dream.

Victoria and Sebastian Haguthorn looked as welcoming as the house. Mrs. Haguthorn was a spindly woman with long black hair and a similar style of dress. Her cheekbones were high and her nose was held higher as she eyed Lily up for the first time. Mr. Haguthorn was even taller than his wife, if that were even possible. He was dirty blond and tanned alongside his children, almost as if they’d lived at the ocean for years, and not been in northern rainy England.

“Lily!” Frances said, running from behind her parents to hug her friend. “Hi,” Lily laughed, hugging Frances back despite the terrifying image of her parents behind her. Joseph piled in on the hug and squeezed them both.

“How have you been? I missed you!” Frances said, pulling away. Her hands lingered on Lily’s face. “I’ve been bored out of my mind, I missed you both so much,” Lily answered, grabbing one of Frances’ hands. “Where’s Thistle?” she asked Joseph. “She’ll be here later, in time for dinner. Don’t worry,” he smiled. 

“Let’s get inside, children. It’s a bit drafty out here,” Mrs. Haguthorn said. The three kids walked into the manor, followed by the Haguthorn parents. Mr. Haguthorn had charmed Lily’s trunk into the house just enough so that four little creatures could run it up the grand staircase.

Lily would have to ask about that later, because she was currently looking around the humongous entryway in awe. A large patterned rug stretched across the floor. Ornate mounted animals lined the right wall, all of which were moving, but no sounds came out. The left wall had pinned bugs of all sorts in glass cases.

There were two staircases leading to a cat walk. In the middle of them was the entryway to the sitting room, where Lily saw a large unlit marble fireplace. The family led her into the room. The large windows shed light into the room; the floor-to-ceiling bookshelves were made of the same dark wood as the paneling on the walls. Large chaise lounges and bergères were arranged in a square in the center of the room, all upholstered in a navy blue crushed-velvet-looking fabric.

Lily tried to hold in her amazement. She didn’t know what Frances and Joseph had told their parents about her and she didn’t want to ruin their story.

“Welcome, Miss Evans,” Mr. Haguthorn said. “It’s not much, but it’s home.” Lily chuckled. “Your home is gorgeous, please don’t belittle yourself in any way,” she said, putting on a show.

“We trust Joseph and Frances to tour you around the house. You’ll be here until term begins, after all,” Mrs. Haguthorn said, gesturing to the large doorway they had just entered through. Frances didn’t waste any time in grabbing Lily’s hand and racing back into the reception atrium. 

“Your house is huge,” Lily whisper-yelled. “Is it?” Frances replied in a normal tone. “I’ve never been to anyone’s house who hasn’t been an associate of my father’s,” she admitted. “My house is the size of this room, and my neighbor’s is as close as the room next door,” Lily said.

Frances looked surprised. “Really? Do you suppose that’s muggle, or...?” Frances began, but Lily didn’t have time to finish before Joseph followed them out of the sitting room. “Mother wants you to stop running in her house,” he said, seemingly unhappy with having to relay that message.

“While you’ve got that in your head, you might want to adjust your robes. They’re a millimeter off kilter,” Frances said, then pushed through a doorway into another room. It wasn’t as large as the other ones, but it was still roomy despite the cold feel of the completely-white walls. Joseph groaned but adjusted his robes nonetheless as he followed his sister’s lead.

The Haguthorn children went about showing Lily their ginormous home; the study, the dining room, the kitchen, and upstairs— their bedrooms, but not Philomena’s or their parents.

Frances flopped down on her large bed and sighed. “I can’t believe you’re here,” she said with a smile. Lily couldn’t help but smile with her. “It’s going to be so much fun having my friends around before school,” Joseph added. Lily blushed.

She was also there as Joseph’s friend. She was fully intending on spending every day with Frances and had even planned a few things for them to do, but none of them had kept Joseph or Thistle in mind.

“You plan on spending most of your time with your girlfriend, right?” Frances asked in a not-yet-vicious but snarky tone. “Girlfriend?” Lily asked. Joseph went red. “She’s not my girlfriend,” he mumbled.

“You’ll have no problem with it,” Lily shrugged. “Has she said something to you?” he demanded. “No, not really. She doesn’t need to. The way she looks at you, the way she talks to you... about you, really... you have nothing to worry about,” Lily smiled.

“Ugh this is gross! Get outta here with that,” Frances groaned, shoving her brother’s shoulder. Lily chuckled at them and sat on her trunk by the wall.

“Hey, what brought my stuff up here?” she asked, patting her seat gently. “The little guys? Those are house elves, they’re servants attached to our family,” Frances shrugged. “You have servants?” Lily asked.

“That makes it sound nice,” Joseph interjected. “They get treated horribly and they punish themselves on top of whatever their master decides for them. They have terrible lives.” Lily nodded, still trying to come around the the fact that her friends had servants that were elves.

“Are you going to advocate for them in like... wizard parliament?” Lily asked. Frances laughed. “I’m not allowed. Our parents... well, there’s something you don’t know about them,” Joseph said. Lily went to ask what he meant by that, but someone had announced that Thistle was arriving at the gate.

The three of them raced down the stairs to greet their friend. Lily jumped into Thistle’s arms, the two of them giggling like children. When Lily backed away, Joseph pulled Thistle to his chest and held her close. He mumbled something in her ear, and Lily sent Frances a knowing look.

They made their way back inside. Lily hadn’t realized it was almost dinner time. While Joseph went to give Thistle a tour of the house, Lily pulled Frances aside.

“I don’t know what you’ve told your parents about me, but I don’t have any etiquette training. I mean, I’ll keep my elbows off the table and chew with my mouth closed, but if there’s a specific fork I’m supposed to use, we’re all screwed,” Lily said. Frances smiled at her. “You have nothing to worry about, I promise. My mother is a little cold, but she’s loving, I promise,” Frances said, almost as if she was trying to convince herself the same thing. 

Lily had never seen such a spread of food anywhere but Hogwarts. There was roast lamb, potatoes, plentiful rainbow salad, and baked apples. It wasn’t much, but for one single family, it seemed like a lot to Lily, especially since her typical family dinner was a sandwich in front of the television watching BBC while sitting on the floor next to her sister.

“This looks wonderful, father,” Philomena said, helping herself to salad. The boy next to her must’ve been her fiancé, Thoren. He looked exactly like Philomena— dark brown hair, sallow face, pale skin, light eyes. He rarely smiled, even if Philomena had told a joke.

“I had Werda make it special for our guests this evening,” Mr. Haguthorn said, gesturing to Lily and Thistle seated next to each other. Both looked up in surprise, then smiled at the patriarch.

“You’re embarrassing them, Sebastian,” Mrs. Haguthorn said, gently placing her hand on her husband’s shoulder. “Let the poor girls eat.” Frances nudged Lily as she took an overly large bite of potatoes and grinned. Lily rolled her eyes but smiled. 

“Have manners, Frances,” Philomena scolded. “Are you my mother?” Frances asked through a mouthful of food. “Girls, not now,” their father scolded.

The four school friends left before dessert. They were much to anxious to catch up to eat any more than they already had. Frances raced up the stairs to her bedroom, the rest followed.

“Ugh, my parents are so stiff!” Frances exclaimed, flopping back on her bed. “They’re not that bad,” Thistle said, smiling at her. “No? You call your parents mother and father?” Frances asked. Thistle shook her head despite the smile still stretched across her face. “I have more names, but none are appropriate,” Frances growled.

“Right,” Joseph said awkwardly. “Well, Thistle and I are going to head to my room for the night. See you tomorrow.” He stood up and took Thistle’s hand in his own. She giggled as they left.

“Bit bold of him, isn’t it?” Lily asked, laughing at them. “I can’t believe he’s been playing around actually asking her out for two years,” Frances said, groaning. Lily looked around the room.

“So what do you want to do now?” Frances asked. She pulled her hair up into a bun on the top of her head. “Sleep?” Lily chuckled. “It’s been quite a long day,” she said, moving to sit on the floor.

“That’s fine, but what are you doing?” Frances asked harshly, jutting her arm in front of Lily. “Laying down to sleep,” Lily answered with a tone of annoyance. “Why would you sleep on the floor when I have a perfectly shareable queen sized bed?” Frances pressed. Lily went red.

“I didn’t know you’d be open to sharing,” Lily said simply, then sat on the edge of Frances’ bed. It was on par with the comfort that Hogwarts mattresses offered, and Lily had to hold her jealous back. “Why wouldn’t I be? You’re my guest,” Frances said, patting the bed next to her.

Lily climbed under the covers awkwardly. Frances smiled at her, and Lily couldn’t say she was upset with the improvement of sleeping on the bed for a change.

“Goodnight, Lily,” Frances said, laying on her side facing away from her. “Goodnight,” Lily said, doing the same. She didn’t realize how actually tired she was, and was fast asleep quickly.

A week later, Lily had adjusted to life at Haguthorn Manor as best as she could. Meals were taken at 8, 12, and 6, respectively. When the doors to the sitting room were closed and there were quieted voices behind it, Mr. and Mrs. Haguthorn were not to be disturbed.

Lily’s favorite place on the entire estate was the creek at the far end of the property. Frances had taken her there almost every day. They’d taken their shoes off and waded in the stream, caught frogs and other little animals, and climbed the willow tree that hung over the water.

It was the prettiest spot by far, if not for the sound the water made or the drooping of the purple flower branches, but the field behind the manor. The land was completely untouched and the wild grass grew with abandon. Wildflowers of all colors and shapes doted the landscape.

Lily often caught herself staring out at it. She would then catch Frances staring at her.

“Why do you always look at me? Look out there, that’s gorgeous,” Lily said, pointing into the field. “I mean, you’re gorgeous, too,” Frances blushed. Lily did the same and returned her gaze to the field. 

“Hey, is that Joseph?” Lily said, pointing out in the field. One tall and one short figure were walking out into the field. “Merlin, it is! And that’s Thistle,” Frances laughed, leaning into Lily’s shoulder. 

Joseph leaned down to kiss Thistle. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down so that this disappeared into the tall grass. Lily and Frances giggled. “They couldn’t find privacy anywhere but here?” Lily asked.

When they returned to the manor, Joseph was bright red and sporting a hickey that peeked out from his collar. “Nice bruise,” Frances said, flicking her brother’s nose before entering the dining room. “Really? Out in public like that? Tsk tsk,” Lily said as she tried to fight laughter, then followed Frances into the dining room.

Not even six days later was Philomena’s wedding. Her and Thoren were trying to move as quick as possible to register their marriage and new house with the ministry before Thoren began to work, and the wedding had to come first.

Lily borrowed one of Frances’ formal dresses. It was modest and simple, something Frances complained about even though she wasn’t the one wearing the damn thing; “ _It’s so boring, isn’t it? It’s an ugly green, too... not much here_.”  Lily found the color to be flattering, and although the cut left much to be desired, it wasn’t downright ugly.

Frances and Joseph matched in their outfits. They both wore black slacks and a white button down. Frances’ robes had a a more feminine cut than Joseph’s, but the familial resemblance was there. Thistle wore a floor-length yellow dress.

“You look... ethereal,” Lily said, placing her hands on Thistle’s arms. Thistle beamed up at her. “You’re not too shabby yourself,” she said, messing with a piece of Lily’s curled hair. Lily fought a smile.

“There’s my girls,” Joseph said, walking over to them. He placed his hand on Thistle’s back and smiled at Lily. “Hey, handsome,” Thistle said. He leaned down to kiss her chastely. “I’ve got to get to the back, the procession is about to start. Wish me luck,” Joseph sighed, giving Thistle one last hug and Lily a high five in passing.

Lily and Thistle took their seats as the music began. Thoren was standing at the front of the altar, alongside a man who looked pale and tired, but joyous nonetheless. 

When the first of the procession walked in the door, everyone stood. Frances and Joseph were leading with a thick piece of blue and bronze rope. Victoria followed them, also holding the rope, and her husband was doing the same behind her. A stern looking old woman was behind Sebastian, and behind her, the bride.

Philomena’s dress was large and bright white and intricate. The train was long enough to reach the end of the room while Philomena stood at the altar.

“Who is giving away the bride?” the man behind the altar asked. “I am,” the old woman answered. The other Haguthorns flanked Philomena’s side as the woman repeated old runes back to the man.

“That’s their grandmother, Sebastian’s mother,” Thistle whispered to Lily. Lily had no words.

The old lady handed the rope that was tied around Philomena’s waist to the man. He was also holding a matching rope that was attached to Thoren’s waist. The old lady moved to stand beside her son.

“You may be seated,” the man said, and everyone did as told. “We are joined here today at Haguthorn Manor to celebrate the joining of two lives before their lord and people. I am honored to be officiating this nuptial, as it has been my favorite courting to watch from afar.

“That is beside the point. When I join these two bands, your marriage will be sealed forever. We will also complete a wand bonding, if only to please to Ministry of Magic,” he said. Many laughed at that.

“Thoren Schlessinger, do you vow to uphold the purity of the wizarding world, through the production of an heir through Philomena Haguthorn?”

Lily knew instantly that she was only welcome here as Lily Evans, niece of Eileen Prince.

“I do.”

“And you, Philomena Haguthorn, do you vow to uphold the purity of the wizarding world through the bearing of an heir by Thoren Schlessinger?” the man asked. “I do,” Philomena said, smiling at her to-be husband.

“Then so it is,” the man crosses the ropes and made a large knot in them, “By value of my words, and the blessing of families, I declare you Mr. and Mrs. Schlessinger,” the man said, and the room erupted into cheers. He smiled, then immediately snapped to a frown. “Quiet!” he yelled, and the room went silent.

“Present your wands,” the man said. Lily could tell his feelings towards this were turning sour as time went on. “Thoren Schlessinger, Philomena Haguthorn, you are joined by wand, until death or other lethal circumstances. Upon authority of Eugenia Jenkins, Minister for Magic, I pronounce you lawfully wedded husband and wife.”

The room erupted into cheers once more, and the man seemed pleased. Thistle wrapped Lily in her arms, and she couldn’t tell if it were for protection or actual joy for the eldest Haguthorn.

The after party was insane. Lily sat with Frances in one of the alcoves drinking sparkling pumpkin juice from crystal champagne flutes. They watched as the man from the altar claimed Philomena’s first dance, and then let her be with her now husband.

“So, now you know,” Frances said, slumping against the wall. She couldn’t look Lily in the eye. “Know what?” Lily asked. Frances looked shocked. “Do you know who officiated the wedding?” she asked in a hushed tone. 

“A man?” Lily asked if it were obvious. “He’s not, not anymore,” Frances said cryptically. “That’s Tom Riddle, the dark lord.”

Lily didn’t know how to react. Deep down she knew that the man who had bound Philomena and Thoren was not Light, but she didn’t know he was  _the_ Dark Lord. 

“Your mother and father-.”

“Death Eaters, the lot,” Frances said miserably. Lily thought for a moment. She watched as Victoria Haguthorn danced gracefully with Riddle, her husband across the room chatting with a polished woman. “Do you plan on joining them?” she asked quietly. Frances looked shocked. “No, no, Merlin, no Lily,” she said, grabbing Lily’s arms. “No, I couldn’t. I wouldn’t.”

Lily sat with it for a second. Frances looked close to tears. “Remember when we first met, and we talked about how lineage isn’t everything?”Lily asked. Frances nodded. “If I can believe Sirius Black doesn’t have a malicious bone in his body, I can believe that you are better than them.”

Frances pulled Lily into a large hug. “Oh, thank you,” she said, relief evident even though Lily couldn’t see her face. “I’ll prove to you that I’m not like them any chance I can get,” she said. Lily pulled away and smiled at her. “That’s all I could ask.”

Nine days after the wedding was the day before they returned to Hogwarts. Neither Lily nor Frances could sleep, and they were sitting in Frances’ bed chatting about anything and everything.

“So you’re telling me that the cars just... go?” Frances asked. Lily laughed. “No, you have to put gasoline in the tank to power the engine,” Lily said. “And then it moves? All by itself? No charms or anything?” Frances asked. “No charms or anything,” Lily confirmed. “Wow...,” Frances said, and they fell into silence.

Lily looked over to see Frances already staring at her. She smiled softly.

“Your eyes are really kind for someone with that much pain behind them,” Frances whispered, brushing a piece of Lily’s hair behind her ear. Lily felt herself go red before moving closer into Frances’ space. Before she could even have a coherent thought run through her brain, Lily leaned in to kiss Frances softly on the lips.

Frances didn’t kiss back before Lily pulled away. “I’m sorry, goodnight,” she mumbled before turning over and closing her eyes tight. She tried to fight tears, as that would be more embarrassing for her.

Lily felt a hand on her waist. Slowly, she reached one of her own up to tangle their fingers together. “Goodnight,” Frances said softly.

The next day, Mr. and Mrs. Haguthorn Apparated them all to King’s Cross. All of their school supplies were bought by the house elves sometime when Lily hadn’t been paying attention, which was a little disappointing— Lily had wanted to stock up on candy for the year.

“Be safe, be smart, be courteous,” Victoria said, waving her children goodbye. Joseph walked with Thistle hand in hand in front of Lily and Frances. “Could you be lovey-dovey somewhere else?” Frances snapped. “Oh, I’m sorry, is the lack of affection bothering you?” Joseph asked, turning back with his arms outstretched, a kiss ready on his face. 

Frances squealed and ran from him. “Stay away from me, heathen!” Frances said. She climbed onto the train in a random spot and Lily had no choice but to follow.

Lily saw Severus and waved to him quickly before he disappeared. “Did you see that?” Lily asked as Frances pulled her down the corridor to a random compartment. James and Peter sat on one side and Remus and Sirius sat on the other. Lily’s mouth dropped open.

“How did you-? How did you know?” Lily asked, turning to Frances. “Why do you care? It’s the boys!” Frances smiled, gesturing to them. Lily’s shock turned to joy as she giggled and threw her arms around Sirius’ neck. “Excuse you, we are men,” he said, gently wrapping his arms around her.

“I’ve missed you so much,” Lily whispered, one of her hands in his hair feeling to make sure he was real. “I missed you too, dear,” he said. Lily then pulled Remus and James into the hug. She didn’t know Peter well enough yet and she hoped he wouldn’t hold it against her.

“Oh, wow,” Lily laughed, sitting next to Sirius. Frances sat across from her next to James. “I figured that maybe they weren’t so bad, so I offered for Sirius to meet us here. He said he was with the Marauders, so I just figured we’d meet them all,” Frances shrugged. 

“Marauders?” Lily asked. “You know, like a raider? We’re not tied down to anyone or anything and we’re here for a good time, not a long time,” Sirius smiled. “The name gives more credit than we have,” Remus said, rolling his eyes. Sirius turned to him, his grin widening and eyes shining.

The six of them caught up on their way to Hogwarts. Lily felt like she was coming home. Her heart swelled as she realized she had finally, finally found her people.

They rode the carriages up to the castle and were greeted by the astronomy professor Aurora Sinistra. Lily had heard she was new, but she didn’t expect her look only a year or two older than Philomena. She helped them into the castle alongside their fairly new charms teacher Filius Flitwick, a man with short stature and a quick temper.

The sorting and welcome feast was much longer than Lily had remembered years prior. Maybe she was just itching to talk to her friends, but it seemed like years before they got to eat. She did enjoy seeing Joseph and Thistle helping first years get acclimated at the Gryffindor table as sixth year prefects.

Dumbledore gave a long, drawn out speech. More places were off limits, more products were added to Filch’s list of banned items, more things Lily didn’t really care about.

“I’m so happy to be here,” Lily said as food appeared in front of them. “Don’t give yourself a stomachache,” Sirius laughed, grabbed food slower than she had. 

Lily finished her meal first and got permission from her prefects to go back to her dorm early. She realized she hadn’t got the password to the painting and had to wait for a passing Gryffindor to come open it for her.

Felicity came up the stairs chatting with Marlene McKinnon and Alice Whitby, two other Gryffindor girls in their year. Lily scrambled to stand. “Felicity,” she smiled, but Felicity didn’t look so amused. 

“You’re stuck out here, aren’t you?” she asked. Lily was confused at the shortness of her tone but nodded. “The password is  _festina lente_ , because I bothered to ask,” Felicity said, then entered with the two girls in tow. Lily followed distantly.

That night, Lily looked up into her canopy. She’d gotten used to Frances in the bed next to her, and she was a little lonely. She remembered the night before and blushed, then rolled over and tried to fall asleep despite the thoughts running through her mind.

The fall chill set in quick. Every student was wearing trousers and sweater by October. Waking to and from the castle for Care of Magical Creatures was becoming a burden.

“Why does it have to be so cold?” Sirius said, his teeth chattering softly. “Are you really that cold?” Lily laughed. “This is not a laughing matter!” Sirius said.

“Do you need my sweater?” Remus asked offhandedly, writing notes down as they walked. Lily had her arm wrapped in his so he wouldn’t fall. “Are you not cold?” Sirius asked, blushing. “Not as much as you are, apparently,” Remus said. 

“Yeah, sure, I’ll take it,” Sirius said. Remus and Lily stopped so that Remus could take his sweater off and pass it to Sirius who cuddled up in it immediately. “Thanks, Remus,” Sirius smiled, pulling it close to his face. Lily made eyes at Sirius and he just laughed and wrapped his arm up in her free one.

James and Peter met them at the entrance to the corral. “Come here often?” James asked Lily, making her laugh. “You couldn’t be any more obvious, could you?” Sirius asked, moving up in front of Lily to walk in side-by-side with James.

Lily rolled her eyes and fell back with Remus. “Whatcha writing?” Lily asked. “My apology letter to Professor McGonagall for when James and Sirius inevitably pull a detrimental prank on Peter,” Remus answered, looking up to her. She shook her head. “Those two will be the death of me.”

November came and went as quickly as October. Lily dreaded December, as that was when she was supposed to solidify her spot in the Slug Club with a date to Slughorn’s Yuletide Dinner.

Break officially began a week before students were supposed to go home for the holidays. Lily spent more time with Severus at Christmastime than any other time of the year.

“So... who are you taking to Slughorn’s dinner?” Lily asked, helping Severus grab ingredients to brew essence of dittany. “I was actually going to ask you,” Severus said, not looking at her. She flushed red. “Oh. Well, I don’t think we’re allowed to ask people already in the club,” Lily shrugged.

“Maybe Hypatia Kelley,” Snape said. “I’ve heard a lot of things about her, and not a lot of them are good,” Lily said teasingly, smiling. “If you thinking she’s good enough to keep her in your good graces, I think I’d like her, too.”

“God, why do you always do things like this?” Severus exclaimed. “Things like what?” Lily asked. “You tell me no and then when I find another person to give attention to you always say something hateful towards them!” he said, storming out of Slughorn’s stores.

“I’m sorry if what I said was rude, I didn’t mean to be,” Lily said. “I only meant that I’m happy to meet any of your friends that I already know.” Severus scoffed. “And now you’re acting like I blew up over nothing,” he said, laughing humorlessly.

Lily didn’t say anything. “Really?” he demanded. She kept her mouth shut. “Fine!” Severus said, picking up his cauldron with all of the ingredients. Her stormed past her and turned around. “At least I have the guts to say something to you instead of just ignoring you all summer.”

Lily opened her mouth in shock, completely unable to say anything. Severus turned with a flick of his hair and stormed out.

Lily immediately went to the Great Hall for dinner. She sat with Thistle and Joseph for their weekly talks, and they noticed something was wrong almost immediately.

“Why do you look paler than a ghost?” Thistle asked. “Hey!” Nearly Headless Nick said, passing through their table. “Sorry,” Joseph said.

“My friend just blew up at me because I asked him who he was taking to Slughorn’s dinner,” Lily said. “What did he say?” Thistle asked, immediately knowing who she was talking about. “That I don’t let him be more than a friend but am disappointed when he finds somebody else to be in his life,” Lily said.

“You don’t like this guy, do you?” Joseph asked, eyeing Severus at the Slytherin table. “No, no. God, no,” Lily laughed. “I just... I don’t know why he’s being this way,” she said. “He’s jealous of your friends in your own house. Potter and Black are famous, believe it or not,” Thistle said.

Lily groaned and put her head in her hands. “I’m just embarrassed, because now I have to show up with someone to prove I’m not just longing after him,” she said. Thistle smiled. “Taking my smoking hot boyfriend,” she said, tugging on Joseph’s arm.

“What?” Lily and Joseph said at the same time, but Joseph had food in his mouth and it sounded more like, “whag?” Thistle nodded. “Why not?”

Lily mulled it over. “Why not? Okay then, Joseph, will you go to the Slug Club dinner with me?” Lily asked. “You know I have a girlfriend, right? This won’t cause you to have a crush on me or anything?”

“Ew, no. You’re like a brother to me,” Lily said. “Okay, good,” Joseph said. “And I kissed Frances. I don’t have a thing for you,” Lily blurted. Joseph’s eyes went wide as Thistle held in laughter. 

“Okay, I’ll go with you,” Joseph said. Lily let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding in. “Okay, cool. And it would be nice if you didn’t tell Frances that I told you we kissed,” Lily said. “Not a problem,” Joseph agreed. “Great, I’m gonna go die in hole now,” Lily said, gesturing to the stairs as she got up.

The dinner was as awkward as Lily imagined it would be. She wore the same dress that she had worn at Philomena’s wedding. Joseph wore the same suit. The two of them stood outside of Slughorn’s private quarters waiting to knock.

“Ready?” Joseph asked. “As I’ll ever be,” Lily sighed, wrapping her small hand in Joseph’s big one. He knocked for them and the door opened instantly.

“Ah, Lily!” Slughorn said, walking over to them. The various students were mingling amongst themselves around the room. Joseph grabbed Lily’s hand tighter. “Professor!” Lily said, smiling charmingly. 

“Who’s this you’ve brought tonight?” Horace asked. “This is Joseph Haguthorn,” Lily said. “Haguthorn? As in-,” Slughorn said, and Joseph cut him off with a laugh. “Yes, sir. As in Maritza Haguthorn,” he said. “Indeed! Welcome, welcome,” Slughorn said.

Lily sat across from Severus and his pale date. She glared daggers at everyone, but especially Joseph. “His girlfriend is mean,” Joseph whispered in Lily’s ear. She snorted, but covered it up with a cough.

The dinner wasn’t as stressful as trying to avoid Severus and Hypatia were. Instead of sucking up to older students, Lily dragged Joseph out almost the second their ice cream bowls were cleared.

“Woah, what’s the rush?” Severus asked cooly. “There isn’t one,” Joseph cut in, physically moving in front of Lily just the slightest bit. “Going to snog in a dark alcove, are we?” Hypatia cackled. Lily went red.

“You know what?” Joseph asked. Nobody had time to answer before he placed his hand on the side of Lily’s face and kissed her softly. She tried to hide her surprise, but he completely caught her off guard. Severus looked away quickly. “Maybe we’ll leave to hide in a dark alcove,” he said, grabbing Hypatia’s hand and leading her to the opposite side of the room.

Joseph pulled away. “What was that for?” Lily hissed. “Plausibility. Now, let’s change out of these uncomfortable clothes,” Joseph said, grabbing Lily’s hand and marching out of the door.

When they were almost to the portrait of the Fat Lady, Joseph turned to Lily. “I hope things won’t change between us,” his whispered. “It doesn’t,” she replied, her voice just as quiet despite the lack of people around them.

“Will you vouch for me to Thistle that I absolutely had to do that or we’d both be screwed?” he asked, and Lily laughed. “I don’t think I’ll have to,” she assured him.

Lily, Remus, and Sirius were there to send their friends back home for Christmas. Remus and Sirius said their goodbyes to James and Peter while Lily said them to the Haguthorns and Thistle. 

“I don’t know if I can go a week without you all being here,” Lily said, a sad smile on her face. “You’ll do fine,” Thistle said, patting Lily’s shoulder. “We’re only an owl away,” Joseph said. Frances waved before getting on the train. Joseph and Thistle followed.

“Oh! I almost forgot!” Frances said, rushing off the train. “What?” Lily asked, panicking. Had she left something at the castle? Lily was running the time it would take to go and get the thing versus mailing it to the manor when she felt hands cup her cheeks and lips on hers.

She was dumbfounded for a moment, but then she settled into the kiss and placed her hands over Frances’.

“Goodbye,” Frances whispered. “Goodbye,” Lily said, her voice unsteady. Frances giggled and ran back on the train with only a minute spare.

There was so much to tell Sirius and Remus. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kisthy kisthy relationships are sprouting


	6. Wool Socks

Early 1974

“She  _what_ ?” Sirius demanded.

He, Remus, and Lily were all sitting in a half circle on the carpet in front of the fireplace on New Year’s Day. “She kissed me,” Lily said, running her hands through her hair. 

“Well was it prompted or not?” Remus asked. He was eating the chocolate Sirius had given him for Christmas. “I kissed her the day before we went back to Hogwarts,” Lily shrugged. “You should’ve lead with that,” Sirius said.

“I should’ve, but I didn’t. I have a thing for her, she might have a thing for me, yadda yadda yadda, what do I do?” Lily asked. “You ask her out,” Remus said. Sirius and Lily both laughed. “What?” he asked.

“I know you don’t know this but asking someone out isn’t just something you do,” Lily said. “You have to charm them around your little finger before you can even think about approaching them,” Sirius added. “And that’s only when push comes to shove. They should approach you first,” Lily finished.

Remus mulled it over. “I’m the opposite. You might be happier together, or you get over them sooner. No harm no foul,” he said. 

“Harm and foul when you’re invested in them,” Sirius said, tossing another candy bar in Remus’ lap. “Besides, who have you had a crush on to ask out?” Lily smiled. Remus went red.

“This is about you,” he said, unwrapping the new chocolate.

“It is about me, which is why I think I’m opting for the decision to not say a thing,” Lily said. “Good idea,” Sirius said. “No, no! Horrible idea!” Remus exclaimed. “What if she likes you back?”

“We’re thirteen, Reems. There’s nothing much we can do as ‘girlfriends’,” Lily said. “I don’t even know if I want to be with her anyways.”

“Did you enjoy kissing her?” Sirius asked. “Yes,” Lily replied, her tone short. “You want to be with her,” he nodded. She glared at him.

“Alright, alright. You don’t ask her out. What about James?” Remus asked. Sirius laughed. “Ever the wingman, Lupin,” Lily said, leaning back onto the floor. “Nothing about James, for the same reasons. And more. I haven’t been to James’ house, haven’t hugged him, haven’t kissed him.”

“He’s rich,” Sirius said. “So are you but I’m not clambering to be with you, am I?” Lily laughed. “A loss on your end, really,” Sirius smiled.

“Not used to women of substance?” Lily joked. “I mean, I guess not,” Sirius said sincerely. “My mother’s a fraud, my cousins are faux intellectuals, and my brother doesn’t talk to me.” Remus patted his leg.

“Well, nice to meet you Mr. Black. I’m fairly smart and hopefully the least fake person you will ever meet,” Lily said, sticking her hand out for Sirius to shake. He did so without question. “Nice to meet you too, Ms. Evans. Pleased to make your acquaintance. It may be early, but I will say, I love you very much.”

“I love you, too, Sirius,” Lily giggled, pulling Sirius down into a hug.

“You two are weird,” Remus said, shaking his head.

The beginning of term was interesting, to say the least. Not only was there a quidditch match the same day term started, but it was Gryffindor vs. Ravenclaw, and Lily was conflicted.

“Why is this such a process?” Remus huffed. “Because I want to support all my people,” Lily said, dragging a paintbrush with blue paint on it down the left side of her face. Remus went quiet. Lily assumed it was because he was answered sufficiently.

“You’re a bad friend, not knowing Frances was the Ravenclaw seeker,” he teased her. “I don’t get to see her anywhere but transfiguration!” Lily whined. “I’m still supporting her even if I’m a little oblivious sometimes.” Remus snorted. “You think? She’s been on the team since year one.”

“God, I can’t believe James made first years be restricted from quidditch. When do you think that’ll go?” Lily asked. She stood up from the sink and looked over at Remus. “Merlin,” he jumped. Lily laughed at him.

“Knowing this school, it’s never going to be lifted. Rules usually aren’t overturned unless they apply to a specific situation. Like this year, Kettleburn said we can’t bring quills to class because it’s a practical year,” Remus said. “You’re a Ravenclaw at heart,” Lily sighed, shaking her head.

They made their way to the quidditch stands with everyone else after lunch. Peter was with them, sullen and silent. 

“Told ya you should’ve gone after James’ spot,” Lily joked, nudging Peter with her elbow. “I didn’t want to take his spot. I don’t like the chaser position. Besides, is that any of your business?” Peter asked. Lily’s face fell. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say anything rude.”

“Well, you did,” Peter said, then walked off to another group of Gryffindors. Remus shook his head. “He’s not mad at you, he’s mad at Nettlesome for not putting him on the team,” he said consolingly.

Lily tried not to think on it too much. Both teams flew up into the air and the stadium erupted into cheers. “This is my first time at a match,” Lily said to Remus. “Mine too,” he replied, lacing their arms together so they could still clap.

“Sloppy seconds,” Felicity said, leaning down over Lily’s shoulder. “How is this any of your business? Last time I checked, you weren’t dating Remus and you weren’t very kind to me,” Lily said. Brooms whizzed around the stadium as the announcer was spouting off information about the players.

“We’re only not friends because you’re buddied up with my ex-boyfriend,” Felicity said. “I’m sorry if that’s a problem for me.”

Lily laughed outright. “I have been friends with him as long as I’ve been friends with you. Do you expect me to stop talking to you, too? Because I’m Remus’ friend?” There was a pause where Felicity didn’t know what to say. “I can be both of your friends if you let me.” 

“I guess,” Felicity mumbled. “Can we enjoy the game without a fight?” Lily asked with a smile. “Have fun,” Felicity said, leaning back into her seat.

“Why does everyone have a bone to pick with you?” Remus asked. “I’m just that cool I guess,” Lily said, flicking hair over her shoulder as she laughed.

They turned their attention back over to the game. They cheered and whooped appropriately. James was a good chaser, as always, Sirius was kicking ass at the keeper position, and Frances was out of sight, most likely having spotted the snitch and went after it.

“Who do you thinks going to win?” Remus asked. “They’re neck-and-neck, really,” Lily said. “Reckon if Frances gets the snitch Ravenclaw will win, but they might still beat Gryffindor if Gryffindor gets the snitch.”

“Sirius looks exhausted,” Remus said, pointing to his friend. Lily hadn’t noticed him much because his hair was pulled back into a knot on the top of his head, showing off his defined jawline and sharp nose bridge. “Sirius looks amazing,” Lily said.

Remus blushed. “He just looks like Sirius,” he said as the boy blocked a shot from the Ravenclaw chaser. “He looks breathtaking,” Lily said, cheering as James scored points. “Why don’t you date him then?” Remus asked.

“Dearest Remus, I’m not attracted to Sirius at all. I can just say when he’s pretty, that’s all,” Lily shrugged. “Pretty? Sirius Black is pretty?” Remus asked. “Pretty,” Lily confirmed, nodding.

Half an hour later, Frances caught the snitch. However, Gryffindor had scored enough that they had a ten point lead after the 150 point bonus.

“I hate you,” Frances grumbled towards James. “You only hate me because I won,” he smiled. “Go shower, you stink,” she said. Lily laughed at the two of them.

“Lily!” he three friends exclaimed. “Don’t hug me, you all smell,” Lily said, holding her hands up. 

“We won,” Sirius grinned. His hair was still up, and he looked more handsome close up. “You did, pretty boy. I’m proud,” she said. “Hey, what about me?” James complained. Frances rolled her eyes. “What about you?” Lily asked.

“Am I not pretty?” he whined. “Sirius’ cheekbones are so defined he could cut glass with them. No, you aren’t,” Lily said. “Age becomes you, Sirius,” Lily turned to her other friend.

He blushed deeply. “It’s because you’re white,” James said. “It is not,” Sirius punched him in the arm, completely losing his embarrassment. The two of them turned and walked into the changing rooms. 

“Do you like him?” Frances asked. Lily giggled, and that turned into a full-on laugh. “You’re serious?” she asked. Frances nodded. “Sirius is one of my best friends. I love him very much. If you’re asking if I have a crush on him, the answer is no,” Lily said.

Frances looked relieved. “Good. Not that you can’t like Sirius or anyone, it’s just good that it’s not him or someone here,” she rambled, blushing a deep red. Lily grinned in amusement. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Frances breathed out. “Have a good day, Fran,” Lily said, turning to head back to meet Remus and head back to the castle. “You too!” Frances called back after her, and Lily just shook her head.

Hogsmeade was officially opened to students a few weeks into the beginning of the year. Lily had gotten her parents to sign her permission slip before they dropped her off at Haguthorn Manor so that Petunia wouldn’t be there or have anything to say.

James and Sirius had already asked a few girls out, leaving Remus and Lily alone.

“Where to, Reems?” Lily asked, wrapping her arm in Remus’ to foster warmth between them. “Three Broomsticks? I hear they’ve got good butterbeer,” Remus said. “Sounds good to me,” Lily nodded.

“Where are we headed?” Frances asked, walking up behind Lily and wrapping her arm in Lily’s free one. “Remus and I were headed to Broomsticks, you’re welcome to join us,” Lily said, surprised at the closeness. It’d been so long since Frances had been in freckle-counting distance and Lily felt her insides go to mush.

“I’m Remus,” Remus said, leaning over Lily to peer at Frances. “Hi, Remus. I’m Frances,” Frances said, waving with her unoccupied hand. Lily laughed. “I hope you two get along better than Severus did,” she joked.

“You’ve met Snape?” Frances asked. “Hate ‘im,” Remus nodded. “Me too,” Frances smiled. Lily looked over at her in shock. “I distinctly remember you telling me that Severus was a better influence than Sirius and James,” Lily said.

“Oh I agree with that,” Remus interjected, “but I don’t like him.” Frances laughed. “Exactly!” she said. Lily rolled her eyes. “You’re only saying this because he’s not friendly.”

“It’s a fair enough point even then,” Remus said. “You’re friends with James,” Lily deadpanned. “She’s got you there,” Frances said.

The trio walked down to The Three Broomsticks laughing.

They ate lunch together, and Lily was happy to see Frances getting along with her other friends, unlike Severus. Remus and Frances were true birds of a feather, and Lily loved watching them interact.

“I’m jealous you were allowed into runes early,” Frances said. “I thought Ravenclaw wasn’t about intelligence?” Lily asked with a smug grin. “It isn’t,” Frances replied with her own smile, “just helps.”

“Flitwick would’ve had to sign something for you to get in,” Remus said. “McGonagall allowed this?” Frances asked incredulously. “You think we just snuck into runes for fun?” Lily replied.

Their next stop was Tomes and Scrolls, much to the dismay of Lily. Remus and Frances looked around, not having a specific goal. “I always leave here with something,” Frances said to Lily as she held the door. “We have to try and find the limited edition of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them,” Remus said, crossing the threshold.

Lily watched them from the front of the shop by the till. They seemed to be thoroughly enjoying their conversation, and Lily didn’t feel the need to interrupt joy.

The door jangled and two boys walked in. “Lily,” James said, smiling crookedly. “James,” Lily said, then turned her attention to his shorter friend. “How are you today, Peter?” she asked. “Fine, thanks,” he replied, looking away from her.

“Where’s Sirius?” Lily asked, blushing. “Out on a date with Marlene McKinnon. Heard of her?” James asked. He seemed genuine enough to not be teasing. “She’s friends with Felicity,” Lily nodded. “Don’t get jealous,” James chuckled. Lily glanced up at Frances. “I’m not.”

“James!” Remus called from the upper level. “Hey, Lupin,” James replied. Peter waved up at him. “Where’s Sirius?” Remus asked. “A date,” James replied, giving Lily the side eye. “Oh,” Remus said, then turned back to presumably return to Frances.

Lily wanted to tell him so bad. She wanted to tell Sirius that he had a chance with Remus, and tell Remus that Sirius liked him. She wouldn’t expose Remus like that, it was unfair. She absolutely wouldn’t tell Remus about Sirius’ crush because she knew that Sirius valued their friendship above all else. It just sucked to watch them both so sad. 

“Lost in thought there?” Frances asked, waving her hand in front of Lily’s face. Lily shook her head. “A little, I guess,” she said. “It’s alright. The boys have left in search for Black,” Frances said. She was holding a paper bag.

“Have you checked out already?” Lily asked, gesturing to the bag. Frances nodded. “Let’s get a move on then, shall we?” Lily said.

There wasn’t much else to do in Hogsmeade. Neither of them really wanted to buy any clothes, Zonko’s wasn’t either of their scene, and they had eaten not an hour earlier. They meandered through the chilly cobbled streets, sometimes talking, sometimes in silence.

“Are we going to talk about our kiss?” Frances asked, turning her pinked cheeks to face Lily. “Kisses, you mean,” Lily corrected, smiling softly. “Kisses, forgive me,” Frances amended. “Still.”

Lily sighed. “I was hoping it’d fall to the back burner, to be honest,” she said. It didn’t come out how she had thought about saying it, like  _I can’t stop thinking about you the way I thought I would_ , but she couldn’t really take it back. “Oh,” Frances said in surprise. “So this wasn’t a date?”

“Did you think it was?” Lily asked. She winced and hoped that Frances could see it. Again, that was supposed to feel more like  _you think about me the same way I think about you?_ “Yeah, kinda,” Frances laughed humorlessly. “My mistake, I guess.” Lily glanced over to her and saw Frances was staring directly back at her.

Lily rolled her eyes and huffed. “I hate when Remus is right,” she said. “Wha-?” Frances began, but then Lily’s lips were on hers, cutting off her words. Lily’s hands held Frances’ cheeks, and Frances slowly wrapped her arms around Lily’s waist. There wasn’t much to the kiss, but it was enough.

“We’re too young to be anything real,” Lily blurted, and she felt like an idiot. “I keep saying things I don’t mean. What I meant was that I want to be something real, but can we really? You’re thirteen and I’m fourteen,” she said. “I’ll be fourteen in October, and next year we’ll be fifteen,” Frances said.

“Real Ravenclaw wit,” Lily laughed. “I’ve been sprung upon, I’m not so reliable right now,” Frances smiled gently.

“Even if we were fifteen, would that change anything?” Lily asked. “We could wait. We can wait until we’re ready. I’ll wait,” Frances said. She brushed a piece of hair from Lily’s face.

“You don’t have to,” Lily said. “Are you saying you won’t?” Frances asked in amusement. “Who would i possibly kiss spontaneously?” Lily asked. “I see the way James looks at you,” Frances said.

“And I suppose I’d kiss Peter Pettigrew while I’m at it?” Lily asked. Frances put her hands up in defense. “Not judging,” she said. Lily swatted her playfully. “But seriously, you’d tell me if you kissed someone else?” Frances asked.

“I’d tell you,” Lily nodded. “Thank you. I’ll do the same. Though I doubt it’ll happen,” Frances said. 

The night sky had grown a dusty pink by then. “We should head back to the castle,” Frances said, grabbing Lily’s hand. Lily’s heart swelled. “It is getting a bit chilly,” she agreed.

When they were halfway back through the village, they saw the Marauders ahead of them. Frances squeezed Lily’s hand. “That was a really mature conversation we just had for people who are too young to be in a real relationship,” she said. Lily giggled. “You’re cute,” she said. 

Lily didn’t take a moment at Hogwarts for granted. Every cold day where she sat next to the large hearth in her common room, to the warming days of April, to the last few days of May where she could wear her tennis skirt. The months went by too quickly at Hogwarts, as opposed to the long, hot days of Summer.

It didn’t feel real when exam season was over and classes were stopped for the year. There were two weeks before everyone was meant to be going home, and Lily intended using every moment of it.

“Why are we all going to sit by the lake in our muggle clothes?” Frances asked, adjust her peplum blouse Lily had given her. “Because I want a picture of all of us and I said so,” Lily said, grabbing the camera James had leant her. “I, for one, love the idea,” Sirius said. 

Frances groaned. “Because you look comfortable,” she said. “You’re wearing the same thing as him!” Remus said. “James and I are the ones wearing uncomfortable button-ups” he pulled at the polyester top James had given him. “Yeah!” James said.

Lily stopped moving around and so did the rest of her friends. “Uncomfortable?” she asked, her voice low. Remus blushed. “N-no, not uncomfortable,” he said. “Good, because I thought someone was trying to get out of being in this for me, and I don’t ask for much. At least I don’t think I do.”

“You don’t,” James said sweetly. “Shut up,” Lily said, pointing to him. He deflated. “Let’s just go to the lake,” Frances said, grabbing Lily’s arm and guided her out of the Great Hall to the lake.

It was a beautiful, warm day out. The sun was shining down and there wasn’t a cloud in sight. Lily had her hair down, and wore a white tee-shirt under a baby blue corduroy coverall dress. Frances’ hair was pulled back into a bun with little frizzies coming off on the top. She wore dark wash bell bottoms that matched her white shirt.

Sirius wore similar bottoms, but his top was a loose lettered tee. James and Remus looked similar as well, both with straight-legged denim, but where James wore a disco-like scooped neck, Remus wore a plain collared short-sleeve under a sweater vest.

Lily propped the camera up on a tree that was level height as much as possible to fit everyone. “Can you see us all?” James asked. Lily held her thumbs up. “How are you gonna get in the photo?” Sirius asked. “A timer,” Lily said, then gasped.

She set the timer and then ran into frame. “Remember, it’s going to make a moving image!” James said, and for some reason, it made Lily laugh. The rest of the group fell into various giggles, and the camera shutter went off.

Lily and James ran to grab the camera form the tree. “I’ll have it developed and owled to you,” he said, picketing the camera. Lily blushed. “Promise?” she asked. “Promise,” he said, smiling. A smile crept up on her own face as they walked back to everyone else.

“That’s all I wanted!” Lily said. Frances threw her arms up around Lily’s shoulders, pulling her in for a hug. “That’s all?” Frances asked. “Was it worth it?” Remus grumbled. Sirius snorted and pulled his shirt off. There were various scars spread across his chest, but if anyone noticed, they didn’t say anything.

“We can just sit out here and do nothing,” James said quietly. Lily looked over at him and let her half-smile come to fruition. “That sounds fun,” she said, plopping herself down under the tree. Frances and James sat down on either side of her, Sirius next to James and Remus next to him.

They sat there in the not-quite-sweltering heat in silence for a little while. “I love you guys,” Lily said, looking around the tree to the three boys on her right. They looked back with varying degrees of shock on their faces.

“You do?” Sirius asked. “Yeah,” Lily said cheerfully. “Even James? Remus asked. “Yeah, even me?” James added. Lily giggled. “If I must,” she said sarcastically. James grinned crookedly.

“And you,” Lily said, turning to Frances, “you are my favorite.” Frances blushed. “Any particular reason?” she asked cheekily. “Maybe a few,” Lily said, her fingers intertwining in Frances’ slowly.

The day of departure, Lily took a look back the castle. “Can you believe we get to live there?” she asked Sirius. “My family owns a castle like this,” he said without giving a backwards glance. “Where?” Lily demanded. “Wales, duh. Everyone’s related to the Black family, we’re old money rich,” he said.

“You don’t seem too happy about that,” Lily said. “Astute observation,” Sirius deadpanned. “Hey,” Lily said, stopping them. Sirius looked flustered. “Is there anything you need to tell me?” she asked gently. 

Sirius sighed deeply. “I don’t like my family. That’s all I really want to say right now,” he said quietly. “That’s all you have to say. I get it,” Lily said, grabbing his hand as they stepped onto the platform in Hogsmeade. The two of them joined James, Remus, and Peter who had made their way down a little earlier than Lily and Sirius.

“Find your way, then?” James huffed. “Took you long enough,” Remus said with a half-smile. “We got lost,” Sirius said, and if Lily wasn’t with him, she would’ve believed him.

The five of them boarded the Hogwarts Express without an aura of sadness. This would happen again next year, and it was something Lily could count on. She loved these people, and these people loved her. They were people she could count on.

Their goodbye at 9 3/4 was bittersweet. Lily hugged each and every one of them, then turned to go home with Severus, almost exactly as the year before.

“How’ve you been?” she asked, pushing her cart alongside Severus. “Fine. I feel like I haven’t seen you all year,” he said, eyebrows raising. “I’ve been a little busy. We saw each other at Slug Club, remember?” Lily reminded him. He quieted very quickly.

Ms. Prince met them at the front of King’s Cross. “Ready to head home?” she asked them, running her hands through Severus’ hair. He shrugged her off and said nothing as he stalked off to the car. Lily watched him go.

“He misses you, you know?” Eileen said. Lily looked up at her. “Yeah? He doesn’t do a good job of showing it,” she smiled, completely devoid of humor. “It’s his father’s fault. He cares, I promise,” Ms. Prince said, taking Lily’s cart for her.

When they arrived at Lily’s house, Severus got out to help her take her trunk out. Lily had Elias in her arms. “Okay, that’s all,” he said, slamming the trunk. “Hey, Severus?” Lily asked. He looked over at her expectantly. “I miss you, too,” she said, frowning slightly.

Severus let out a breath he was holding in. “Owl me more, yeah?” he said, petting Elias gently. “And don’t hesitate to come over for some reading, mum’s got plenty of old books.” Lily began to smile. “I’ll make sure of it,” she said.

They hugged before Lily went inside. Petunia was no where to be found, presumably outside with her friends from the street over. Mr. Evans helped her bring her trunk in as Mrs. Evans fussed over her.

“Please just let me sleep, I’m exhausted,” Lily said, letting Elias go. He immediately ran to the couch and curled up on the back of it. “If you insist,” Dorothy said, planting a kiss to the crown of Lily’s head. “We’ll wake you up for supper, don’t worry,” Walter said, and Lily gave him the biggest smile she could muster.

“Thank you,” she said, then made her way upstairs and into her room. She flipped down on the bed and looked out of her window. She thought of the warm day with her friends, imagining it clearly. They were older, more grown up than Lily had seen them. James had the beginnings of a mustache, which was oddly gross. Remus and Sirius were happily curled up together, whispering and smiling like Joseph and Thistle often did. And Frances.

Frances had her hair pulled back, the front pieces of her hair clipped out of her face. Her curls fell around her shoulders, framing her perfectly. She had a gorgeous smile across her face, her eyes crinkled the way they did when she was truly happy. Her freckles were prominent and bright, as provided by the summer sun.

Lily groaned and rolled over. She really did not want to be falling in love with Frances. She liked her, sure, but Lily was always told that love came when you were older, more mature. Her own parents were in their thirties when they had Petunia, and nearly forty when they had Lily.

On the other hand, Mr. and Mrs. Haguthorn were probably only just now reaching forty and had a married daughter. Philomena seemed to be in love as well, despite all the blood purity mess. Joseph and Thistle talked about how they planned to have similar life paths constantly.

Was Lily really too young to be in love? Probably so, even if she did love Frances just as a friend. She groaned again. Since when we’re relationships this hard?

Lily fell asleep to thoughts of her past summer and her plans for the one before her. She wasn’t desperately missing Hogwarts for once, knowing it would always be there for her in the end. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments and kudos are highly appreciated 🥺


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